FEATURED MULTIRACIAL FAMILY: MEET THE SHUHERK FAMILY

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MEET THE SHUHERK FAMILY

Emma 33

Half Black American and half German

Cassie 33

White American

Genevieve 15 months

Genevieve is 1/2 German, 1/4 Swiss and 1/4 Black American

WHERE DO YOU LIVE? 

Boston, MA

HOW DID THE TWO OF YOU MEET? 

Cassie was my manager at a bakery called Kickass Cupcakes when we met.  I was instantly smitten.  She had just gotten out of a bad relationship and sworn of women so I didn't even come out to her till months after becoming friends.  A few months after that we started dating.

WERE THERE ANY SIGNIFICANT OBSTACLES IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP CORRELATED TO YOUR BACKGROUNDS?

No

WHAT TRADITIONS DO YOU CELEBRATE IN YOUR HOME?

We love holidays and celebrate both German and American holidays which is what my parents did when I was growing up.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CULTURAL FEATURE/TRADITION OF YOUR SPOUSE'S RACE?

We have adopted the American way of celebrating Christmas.

IS THE COMMUNITY YOU LIVE IN DIVERSE? 

Extremely.  Probably 80% of my daughter's friends have mixed backgrounds.

DO YOU OR YOUR PARTNER SPEAK IN MORE THAN ONE LANGUAGE IN YOUR HOME? 

Yes we speak English, German, and ASL at home

ARE YOUR EXTENDED FAMILY SUPPORTIVE OF YOUR MULTIETHNIC RELATIONSHIP? 

Yes

WHAT DO YOU ENJOY MOST ABOUT YOUR PARTNER'S ETHNIC-CULTURAL BACKGROUND? 

The food, music, and large family gatherings.  They are big on comfort food and 70's and 80's music.

WHAT IS THE MOST SURPRISING/UNEXPECTED THING YOU'VE LEARNED ABOUT EACH OTHER'S CULTURE?

Cassie lived on a farm in rural Indiana growing up, whereas I grew up as a city girl in Germany.  I think for me it was shocking how much I enjoy being out in the middle of nowhere.  It is so nice to sit in actual silence and go outside and see stars at night.  

For Cassie I would say it was definitely everything about going to the beauty salon from how long it takes to get my hair done to the small community formed there.

ARE THERE ANY COMMENTS YOU ARE REALLY TIRED OF HEARING FROM PEOPLE IN REGARDS TO RACE/CULTURE?

Are you her nanny?  

Daddy must be very light skinned.

WHAT ACTIONS HAVE YOU TAKEN TO TEACH YOUR CHILD/CHILDREN ABOUT EACH OF YOUR BACKGROUNDS? 

Currently Genevieve is only 15 months old but because so much of the brain develops by age 3 we wanted to get started early.  Right now we are teaching her both German and English as well as observing holidays from both cultures and eating food from both cultures.

HAVE YOUR CHILDREN ASKED ABOUT RACE?

Currently we are raising her to be trilingual (German, English, and ASL).  We also travel a lot and I hope that those two things will give her a first hand experience in cultural diversity.  It's hard to say exactly what we will say in the future.

DO YOUR CHILD/CHILDREN IDENTIFY AS MIXED OR SOMETHING ELSE?  

Both Genevieve and I identify as mixed.  

HOW DO YOU RAISE YOUR CHILD/CHILDREN TO HONOR DIVERSITY IN OTHERS? 

Genevieve is still young and so far has only noticed that we are different because she doesn't have a dad.  I always tell her every family is different and how cool is that because life would be boring otherwise.

WHAT UNIQUE CHARACTERISTICS DO YOUR CHILD/CHILDREN HAVE FROM YOU AND YOUR PARTNER? 

She has my eyes and nose and she has Cassie's sense of humor, IQ and sass

WHAT IS YOUR DREAM FOR YOUR CHILD/CHILDREN'S FUTURE AND THE FUTURE OF AMERICA IN REGARDS TO RACE? 

I look around and see that so many of her friends are also mixed and it makes me so happy. When I was younger I didn't know anyone that was more than one race besides my brother. I hope that America continues in the same direction as far as that.  I also hope we come to a place where everyone is treated equally regardless of race. 

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3 THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND WHEN YOU MEET SOMEONE MULTIRACIAL

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As the world becomes more diverse, multiracial people are not quite the rare unicorns we once were. Even with more combinations of skin, eyes and culture constantly blending, though, it seems that uni-nationality people (pretending for a moment that's actually a real thing) still don't quite know how to approach or talk to "The Mixed". -That's my new term and I'm sticking with it. It sounds like the newest hit drama on NBC; already in it's second season, with rave reviews, starring yours truly.  

No matter what term you use as a description, there are definitely 3 things you should keep in mind when you meet someone who appears to be multiracial.

The question, "What are you?", is not welcome!

It's probably the single most frustrating question for us. I haven't taken a scientific poll, but I think I can safely say we all have an eye roll reserved for the occasion. Just don't ask, and spread the word so hopefully the question dies altogether. We are human! Whether well intended or not, the question implies that we're not. Add in the bewildered face people wear as they ask, and the feeling of being an outcast just grows. I am a woman, sister, daughter, writer, actress, mother extraordinaire if you must, but if you'd like to know my background simply ask me, "What's your background?" I am happy to unlock the mystery.

The touching of our hair isn't either

There seems to be a fascination with ethnic hair in general, but I've noticed an extra layer of "Oooh what's that" when it comes to hair that falls somewhere in the middle of the spectrum. It comes in a variety of textures and sometimes the color seems out of place given the corresponding shade of skin, but it is just hair, and we don't like people touching it. If my curls are calling to you and the urge becomes overwhelming, again, ask. You may get a firm and passionate, "No!", but if you're not given permission, it feels like a violation. It's kind of like the hand on the belly bump phenomenon. Apparently, there's an unspoken rule, that if a woman is pregnant and her belly is visible, she becomes public property, and it's okay to lay hands. Well uh, I can assure you this rule was not written by a pregnant woman; I literally used to slap any strange hand that got close enough. Anyone who thinks it okay to walk up and touch someone's anything, hair included, has been seriously misinformed. If you didn't know, now you do.

Starring makes things awkward

Now, I have to give a disclaimer. I have seen a multiracial few that are an absolutely stunning display of artistic magnificence personified, and I couldn't take my eyes off them. There are people that beautiful and visually captivating, but they are not wax figures and there is most certainly a line. Whether gorgeous and statuesque or not, The Mixed are something like a puzzle. It drives you nuts if you can't identify where all their features come from and you just can't look away until you've got it; I've been there. Starring is understandable, but anything beyond a 5 second gaze starts to become uncomfortable. Even worse, if we've made eye contact and you still haven't said anything things go from awkward to concerning. We are approachable, I assure you (most of us anyway), and we don't bite. If you find yourself taken aback by someone it's okay, and actually preferred, to say something instead of just persisting with a stare.

If you've been following the dots and my entire rant seems to deal with consent and respect, you're right on target. It's in our nature to explore the unfamiliar, admire unique beauty, and try to dissect anything that we don't understand. Unfortunately, it has also been a part of our history to treat differences in humans, the same way we would a new cell phone. We don't bother learning about it from the manual, we just look it over and play with it. Great for technology, not okay with people. I don't think enough of the population realizes or cares that it's not okay, though. My hope is that as people learn better, they'll do better. 

The differences in our cultures and traditions are what make blending them so beautiful. Admire, inquire and enjoy when you come across a way of life different from your own. I don't have a drop of Greek in me, that I know of, but Mediterranean cuisine is definitely at the top of my favorites. As you become more worldly though, just keep a sticky note, somewhere in the back of your think tank, that reminds you, there is not a person in this world that is on display for your curiosity or entertainment. Multiracial individuals are not beautiful patchwork quilts for you to run your hand over. Their feelings are no different than your own, so make sure you're "Doing unto others..."

I have grown into a much greater sense of confidence when it comes to my blend, but that was not always the case. As a child I felt like a bit of a sideshow. Kids always wanted to play with my hair, or come up with a creative reason why they thought I had freckles with brown hair and eyes. I no longer care much if someone turns my face into a guessing game, but I'm sure there are still children and even adults, today, who haven't yet gotten to that place of self assurance. In a world of carbon copies, unique is not an easy mountain to climb. When you do meet someone who appears multiracial, the biggest thing is to show respect. If you're sensitive in your approach, I think plenty of The Mixed wouldn't mind sharing their story. 

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FEATURED MULTIRACIAL INDIVIDUAL: MEET KANDIA CRAZY HORSE

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Kandia Crazy Horse, age 45

WHAT MIX ARE YOU?

Native American (my Nation’s always been in what’s now Virginia & surrounding territory) / African / Scottish

WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE?

Manhattan

IS THE COMMUNITY YOU LIVE IN NOW DIVERSE?

I live on what was Alexander Hamilton’s farm, also once known as High Harlem, and it’s a rapidly gentrifying area of Upper Manhattan. Harlem was originally built as a suburb for German emigres, but quickly became the Black Mecca of the nation. When I first moved to this neighborhood, it was majority black & Dominican - with some other groups from so-called Latin America mixed in. Increasingly, whites from richer areas downtown & Brooklyn are moving in & the local businesses are changing to cater to them as a result. There’s unfortunately still a lack of services & certain infrastructure present to support the population that has been here for many decades & it’s causing tensions.

WHERE DID YOU GROW UP?

I am from the South, Virginia & Georgia; I also grew up for a time in the Latino barrio of Washington, DC, Adams-Morgan, which was an island of Aztlan amidst what was then known as Chocolate City - before I moved to Africa. In the deep South with my grandparents, where I lived for 4 months each year, there were only our kin & other black folks. Prior to gentrification, Adams-Morgan was predominantly Latino with a sprinkling of black revolutionaries including my parents & their friends -- the area had been utterly changed due to white flight a few years before I was born -- and thus my first language was Spanish & my primary identity was Chicana or Latina. As a babychile, I literally thought I would grow up to be Chicana round about age 20 & look just like Frida Kahlo in the women’s dress from the Isthmus of Tehuantepec in Mexico.

Then, between age 8 - 20, I moved to Africa, living in various countries from Bamako, Mali in the Sahel to Accra, Ghana; living in Francophone & then Anglophone Africa, where initially my mother was a U.S. Ambassador (the 3rd woman of African descent to be so named in American History), I socialized with the international set, many expats, & attended the Lycee Francais for 8 years; but I also always knew many native Africans from the given country we were based in, as well as became early on what they now term Afropolitan. I was like Lupita Nyong’o or Michael Kiwanuka before they existed, but that was extremely complicated because I was a black American of southern roots which always confused people (and still does).

So again, I grew up with many children from Central & South America, then from West & East & Southern Africa, as well as Europeans, before going to boarding school in New England -- the only place yet that I’ve experienced culture shock, amongst the Mayflower descendants & other Yankees. At the progressive and then private schools I always attended, I also knew the first publically recognized/free boom of biracial (primarily black/white or black/Native American/white but also some black/Asian due to the VietNam War which was still raging when I was born) kids that had a certain new style upbringing and access due to the Civil Rights Movement and, like me, being the first born of my family not under Jim Crow. I socialized with all of these biracial kids & tended to be their lone black friend, but I didn’t have the exact same experiences as them because I was darker skinned than my Afro-Native mother & grandmother -- not as obviously Creolized -- and because I was reared abroad rather than in the States belonging to the Links, Jack & Jill, summering @ Oak Bluffs & apart of other “Old Freedom Bourgeoisie” lifestyle happenings. So, actually, the majority of the time, my twin sister & I could only identify with our own circle of two.

HOW DID YOUR PARENTS MEET?

I no longer recall the details; but they were both 1960s revolutionaries from the South & pan-Africanists who had been living in Africa (separately, then together) since 1960. I always inquired -- before my mother went to the Spirit World -- & have repeatedly been given the answer that the sisters & brothers who cared about Africa and their progressive Third World coalition-building concerns back in the 1950s & 1960s were initially very few, so all the now famous people of the Movement -- most of whom my parents were friends with or knew from actions -- and my kin involved in the revolution were relatively tight compared to the apathy, disunion and mutual hatred of the post-racial black community today.

WERE THERE ANY SIGNIFICANT OBSTACLES IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP CORRELATED TO YOUR BACKGROUNDS?

Yes, my grandmother (being redbone, Native American/African/Scottish) did not like my father, blamed him for the dilution of our blood/change of hair, stopped speaking to my mother for over a year when she cut her hair & etc…

HAS YOUR EXTENDED FAMILY ALWAYS BEEN SUPPORTIVE OF YOU BEING MULTIRACIAL?

Not entirely. My mother subsumed her Native identity under the black one dominating the 1960s, only to return to it before she walked on. Because of her color, she was always claimed by Ethiopians (Amharas) as one of them & she spoke fluent Amharic, lived in Addis Ababa etc. When I first moved to Mali, the natives there that were Fulani considered me one of them. I always knew I was Native from birth, but was not raised on the reservation & grew up abroad away from American culture point blank; so I have had to find my own way along the Red Road once I left home.

I now live mostly immersed in Indian Country, but I still honor my African roots as well as the Scottish ones via my music, which is Native Americana/Black Hillbilly/mountain music derived from the blend of African-Native American-Scotch-Irish in the Southeast where I hail from. There were some issues when I married my ex-husband, who is of Danish descent with some Albion contribution; but then again, I have always lived & socialized amongst an extremely diverse population & was educated with kids from France, Germany, Belgium, Italy, Spain etc & I formerly worked at the United Nations -- so there would have been too much hypocrisy to completely condemn certain choices I have made in life.

DID YOU CELEBRATE TRADITIONS FROM BOTH SIDES OF YOUR FAMILY?

See above responses. We mostly observed southern traditions & then many diverse cultural practices from different nations in Africa, especially Yoruba (we were supposed to be born in Lagos & have dual citizenship) & Ashanti.

WERE THERE MULTIPLE LANGUAGES SPOKEN IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD?

My parents were not raised with foreign languages (although my mother particularly gained knowledge due to her work, as well as being fluent in Amharic & Swahili) & my Native tongue has been dead for at least 300 years. Yet my sister & I were raised on foreign languages from the start; I have been educated / fluent in Spanish, French, and absorbed some Bambara, Arabic, Sotho, Twi, Tamashek, German, Turkish, Tsalagi...

WHAT DO YOU ENJOY MOST ABOUT YOUR CULTURAL BACKGROUND?

On most days, the Music, for music is my grand passion & the only constant in my very complex & turbulent life. All of these other aspects you cite, have waxed & waned or even been taken away from me, but the music has always remained no matter where I was in the world. No doubt, this has contributed to me becoming an artist. Even before I was a singer-songwriter, for most of my existence I have (only) made connections with people based on music. Of course, I do dress in Native American style adapted to my particular Taurean sense of adornment & love my regalia…& never turn down a chance to have some stone ground grits OR great frybread!

WHAT ACTIONS DID YOUR PARENTS TAKE TO TEACH YOU ABOUT YOUR DIFFERENT BACKGROUNDS?

Even though my parents were upraised in segregated, mostly southern areas & culture, we were exposed to the whole wide world from the beginning. Aside from being deeply steeped in African history, we’d been to all the major & minor D.C. museums before we were 5 years old, and consistently exposed to many cultures beyond our multilingual education. My parents were in the Movement & traveled a lot, so we spent even more time with our southern grandmothers, learning our heritage & pre-1960s traditions. We were taken to marches, actions & diverse cultural events -- I first came to love bluegrass, mountain music & the Song of the Plains Indians from toddling after my mother at the Folklife Festival & similar programs.

DID YOU TALK ABOUT RACE A LOT IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD WHEN YOU WERE GROWING UP?

Yes, all the time -- it was the Revolution & then the long era of always trying to re-attain the Movement that had disintegrated

DO YOU IDENTIFY AS MIXED OR SOMETHING ELSE?

I identify as Native American. Ultimately, there’s not really such a thing as a “black Indian;” but due to racism & historical miscegenation laws, there’s a lot of blood quantum & enrollment issues that plague Indian Country unto this day. Still, I always honor all sides.

DOES RACE WEIGH INTO WHO YOU CHOOSE TO DATE?

Again, my ex was Danish-American. My preference has always been Native American men, but have only recently been meeting them in significant numbers, due to being raised abroad. At least since I was age 7 or so, there’s never been more than 1 or 2 -- African or black American - boys in any of my classes/grades, so dating black guys or only black guys has never been a luxury afforded me -- & frankly, the few black folks there were around, especially in boarding (high) school, mostly did not cotton to us having such a nontraditional, “weird” upbringing; they were not pan-African nor conscious nor what the millennials now call “woke” -- the black & Afro-Latino kids denigrated us for growing up in Africa, even at the heights of Native Tongues hip-hop/Acid Jazz/London’s second Summer Of Love/early 1990s Black Renaissance heyday.

With biracial black/white guys, I have always had to be just the friend, usually their only black girl-friend who their mothers tended to wish we would date but they all chose white women to partner with & have children with. I have dated an Aztec in the past.

WHAT DOES BEING MIXED MEAN TO YOU?

I was raised around a diverse set of cultures, never given the choice to just remain solely in the Black Community, so I just see the world always that way rather than being wed to blackskin chauvinism -- despite being born into the height of that sentiment. Ultimately, I am myself, with all the complexities that entails & I am starting to be middle-aged, so I am just becoming ever more deeply rooted in what that is.

DO YOU HAVE A LOT OF FRIENDS WHO ARE MIXED?

See above; due to my liminal position in society, I was privy to a lot of the issues & growing pains & internal self-hatred of kids from the boom of interracial marriage in the 1960s/Afrohippies/AffirmativeAction/growth of the black middle class. It’s all given me a unique perspective, as I have watched the post-racial viewpoint rise & lived amidst Obama America plus the social media debates of “mixed chicks,” “team dark skin vs. team light skin,” Black Women’s Empowerment, & seen the natural hair movement return. These gleanings have fed into my social choices & certainly informed my activism.

Yet I have really mostly learned from my own personal sojourn, as a child of multiple roots growing up on both sides of the Atlantic; being an Afrohippie & aging Deadhead who spent years on the road traveling between concerts & Coastopia; having covered the next wave of southern rock as a (black female) rock journalist & music editor in an extremely white male English-speaking field; and now abiding as a Native Americana/black hillbilly/Cosmic American Music artist in the country & Americana genres which do not generally accept black, Native, and other artists of color. I continue to be misunderstood & not accepted in different social/cultural scenes, and yet still I rise. And I Sing.

ARE THERE ANY COMMENTS YOU ARE REALLY TIRED OF HEARING FROM PEOPLE IN REGARDS TO RACE/CULTURE?

If I had a dime for every time someone non-black touched my hair growing up…& I wish that within Indian Country there would not be so much privileging of the white-passing over the black, considering that here in the East, most of the surviving nations are tri-racial & we need unity now in this era of Standing Rock - I have been part of the Dakota Access Pipeline & Algonquin Pipeline resistance for months, doing activism primarily in Indian Country all of 2016 -- more than ever.

Also: folks should stop telling me there are no/they never heard of a black country singer; I have recorded 2 country & western albums, Stampede & Canyons, & been writing lots of songs for the next few I hope to get a record deal for, including a song for our precious water protectors of Standing Rock - “Mni Wiconi (Water Is Life).” And I lead a diverse, black and white, Native Americana band called Cactus Rose that is based in Harlem - yes, Harlem-on-the-Range. I also associate with some of the Federation Of Black Cowboys members, who sometimes tend to be “Afro-Native” and includes some hillbilly musicians -- like my friend AR of Ebony Hillbillies.

WHAT IS YOUR DREAM FOR THE FUTURE OF AMERICA IN REGARDS TO RACE?

I am for complete liberation of Turtle Island & all that entails.

ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT TO SHARE?

Just everyone -- but particularly my sistahs -- try to finally get over the hair; the battles waged over it are not productive & we have so many more important issues to tend to for our survival (although I understand that, as a woman, beauty is a central reality). I was born into “Black Is Beautiful” & believed that would never change, only to see the gains of that era whittled away bit by bit to the sad state today wherein black men & women are mostly at war with each other. None of this infighting has yielded ultimate positive results nor progress has it? We shall never return to some glorious, isolated City of Zinj -- I know only too well -- in the Motherland; we need to try far harder to all get along, never forgetting nor abandoning our Roots, yet all truly learning how to live & love together, as Jimi Hendrix, Sly Stone, & all my most beloved Bold As Love artists of the 1960s & 1970s strove to articulate.

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You can learn more about Kandia on her website and IG

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“BROWN SKIN AND BLONDE GIRLS ONLY”, SAID MY DAUGHTER

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It was the moment I dreaded. Today my daughter came home recounting her day with the casual tone she adopts when talking about homework.

But instead she told me she’d created a secret club.

“Oh?”, I said, intrigued.

“Yes, and it’s for girls only. And only brown skinned and blonde girls can be part of it.” At the mention of skin colour, my head turned. But, instead of the usual defensive lioness I’ve become so used to at the mention of anyone excluding her for being brown, I had to do a double take.

“What??? Why would you?… Who??….”, my voice tailed off. Realising she’d included blonde girls, I calculated that most of her friends were actually probably included- even with this strange entry requirement.

All except one. “Were all your friends allowed to join then?”, I asked carefully. “Yes”, she said. “Except N…”

My heart dropped. Just as I feared. One of her friends who didn’t play with her that often but who was often on the periphery of her little group was unfortunate to have brown hair.

My daughter was obviously oblivious to her error. In fact, she looked at me curiously to see why I might be so concerned.

What do you do and how do you say it? My automatic anti-racist, discrimination-hating, scary-Mum instinct was about to be unleashed where I lecture my daughter about everything that’s wrong with excluding someone because of their skin colour.

And yet I knew that if I scared my daughter with my reaction, what would be the impact on any future conversations about race? Would she want to bring up any more moments where race and skin colour come up and would she feel comfortable to know that she can ask anything- even if it is offensive?

Because keeping that conversational door open is one of the most important things to me. That she knows that she can ask anything of us- her parents- even if she suspects it’s not a comfortable subject for many.

We talk about race and heritage and colour because it’s there. Not because we want to make a big deal of it but because it’s there. And we don’t have a choice.

Fortunately, the people who make up my daughter’s entire world are all of different colours so I didn’t have to travel far to get her to understand.

“You do know that your rules mean that I couldn’t join your secret club”.

Armed with this new revelation, she seemed to pause and agreed quickly to change the rules so that blonde, brown and black hair, white skin and brown skin could be included.

In Shakil Choudhury’s recent ground-breaking book on diversity, he spells it out for us that our human brain is predisposed to be empathetic to those who are most like us. But as her immediate circle is made up of multiple skin colours and features, I knew that her concept of ‘us’ was unlikely to be limited.

So I didn’t harp on about the colour aspect. The incident that happened today could have happened to any kid, of any colour. For my daughter, it could well have been glasses, no glasses, brown hair, blonde hair or black hair, as long as her chosen friends were included.

In those next few moments, I chose to talk about exclusion as it happens to us all, not about colour specifically.

“Why would you want to exclude N***?”, I asked her.

“Is she mean?”

“No.”

“So, why?”

She didn’t really have an answer. Perhaps because it was easy to exclude N***.  And because her best friends were all blonde-haired or brown-skinned.

I continued. Today, you’re in control of the club but tomorrow, it may be those very same kids who exclude you because of your curly hair or your nose or your shirt or… your skin colour.

“How would you feel if…”

Pausing, she said she understood. And she felt bad, I could tell. She’s not a mean kid and I know she’s been known to stand up to bullies and other kids who turn on others. But what happened today, she was reminded of who she is and what she stands for. So proud was she of her ‘secret’ club and the fact that she’d come up with rules to make it even more exclusive (probably inspired by the recent episode of Peppa Pig), she’d forgotten how it felt to be left out.

Tomorrow she’ll go in and apologise to her friend. She’s done with secret clubs for now, she says. And she’s got a renewed incentive to be kinder and to ensure everyone gets included in her circle.  Because when encouraged to imagine themselves in the others’ shoes, children don’t need much encouragement to change their behaviour.

I hope that my daughter got the lesson. I certainly did not think I’d be having this conversation with her, especially at 5 years old. But, then again, I’m glad it happened and I can understand better when young children do make judgements and decisions based on skin colour. Later, it may become more sinister and I’m ready for those conversations. But it’s a reminder that in this racialised world, none of us are perfect and we’re learning along the way. Talking about race is not taboo, nor should we scare our children or run away from such conversations. Even when when they surprise us with the most unimaginable.

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Post was originally published on Fariba's blog, mixedracefamily.com

A UNITED KINGDOM

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Last weekend I took my daughter to go see Hidden Figures (which was INCREDIBLE) and worthy of its own blog post, but I have to say I was already in tears before the movie even started because the trailer for A United Kingdom played...

Looks incredible right?! So I have never heard this story before, but it is the true story of Seretse Khama and Ruth Williams. Seretse was Botswanan and an Oxford-educated student prince. Ruth was an English middle-class clerk. In 1948 they were married despite all of the obstacles and outrage it caused.  Their relationship became the focus of a crisis between Britain and Botswana’s neighbour South Africa, which was about to introduce apartheid.

Seretse Khama with his English wife Ruth, and their two children Jacqueline and Seretse Jr in September 1956

The union was opposed by both families. Seretse was chief in waiting of the Bamangwato tribe and had been sent to London to study law and then was to return home and marry a woman from his tribe. 

The British government and the uncle ended up joining forces to demand that Seretse give up his white wife, or quit his tribal lands and leave his homeland.

As Amma Asante, director of A United Kingdom, said: ‘They were sent into exile because of their forbidden love.’

British officials insisted he give up all claims to the chieftainship. 

When he refused, he was told he would be banished from his homeland for five years.

There was an outcry and political supporters formed a committee to take up Seretse’s cause. 

In 1956, leaders of the Bamangwato tribe sent a telegram to the Queen to ask for their chief to be allowed to return home. 

When he did, finally, go back, Seretse gave up all rights to the throne. Instead, he held the country’s first democratic elections and was voted president of what became Botswana.

Ian Khama, current President of Botswana, son of Seretse and Ruth

The couple went on to have a daughter and three sons. Their son Ian is now President of Botswana. Both Seretse and Ruth have now passed, but from the trailer it certainly looks as though British acting duo David Oyelowo and Rosamund Pike have done an incredible job of capturing their love story. 

Oyelowo said that he was attracted by the ‘epic nature of the love story, and the backdrop of the British empire, and what it was like to be a king in Africa just as apartheid was being signed into law in South Africa’. There is already Oscar nomination buzz about his performance. He was certainly snubbed in my opinion for portraying MLK in Selma. 

It is wonderful to see a diversity of love stories being displayed on screen, of course Loving being most recent, and now A United Kingdom slated to be released on February 10th, 2017. 

David Oyelowo and Rosamund Pike are portraying the pair on screen

I hope everyone goes out and supports this movie, the multiracial community in particular! What a wondeful love story to share with the world.

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FEATURED MULTIRACIAL INDIVIDUAL: MEET STEVEN D. MCKIE

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Steven D. McKie (My middle name is only a letter), age 26

WHAT MIX ARE YOU?

I’m French-Canadian Abenaki American Indian, African American, Italian, and Scottish!

WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE?

San Francisco, CA

IS THE COMMUNITY YOU LIVE IN NOW DIVERSE?

No, goodness no.

WHERE DID YOU GROW UP?

I grew up in North Augusta, SC. Just a stone's throw from Augusta, GA -- where I was born. I grew up being the only light skin person in any of my classes. Aside from a few African American classmates, I was all alone until 8th grade when we moved to VA.

HOW DID YOUR PARENTS MEET?

Out with friends at a dance club/bar? If I remember correctly. They met in Georgia.

WERE THERE ANY SIGNIFICANT OBSTACLES IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP CORRELATED TO YOUR BACKGROUNDS?

Dad was black and from a mixed background himself, my Mom was lily white. They were raising mixed children in the 90s in small town in SC, so yeah, plenty of issues regarding race (from both their respective families)

Steven and his uncle

HAS YOUR EXTENDED FAMILY ALWAYS BEEN SUPPORTIVE OF YOU BEING MULTIRACIAL?

Definitely have never heard anything negative. Then again, most on my Mom’s side don’t really speak with us. Mostly just the black side of our family that keeps in contact, even then only somewhat.

DID YOU CELEBRATE TRADITIONS FROM BOTH SIDES OF YOUR FAMILY?

Neither of my parents were ever religious. We never had any traditions outside of Thanksgiving, Halloween, Easter, and Christmas. Pretty much celebrated whatever was the standard, Christian norm. Though, we never set foot in church.

WHAT DO YOU ENJOY MOST ABOUT YOUR CULTURAL BACKGROUND?

The social culture of my African American side I am very proud of. I try not to pigeon hole myself down to one race though. All of me is equally as good.

WHAT ACTIONS DID YOUR PARENTS TAKE TO TEACH YOU ABOUT YOUR DIFFERENT BACKGROUNDS?

Nothing, just that racist kids were rude to me because their parents don’t know any better. And, that one day it wouldn’t be that way.

DID YOU TALK ABOUT RACE A LOT IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD WHEN YOU WERE GROWING UP?

My Dad made a lot of race based jokes; but that’s only because he loved Richard Pryor and Steve Harvey :)

DO YOU IDENTIFY AS MIXED OR SOMETHING ELSE?

Just say I’m mixed, and what it is I’m mixed with. Just another American, with a fancy pigment.

DOES RACE WEIGH INTO WHO YOU CHOOSE TO DATE?

For the longest time it definitely did. My GF of ~5 years is actually white.

WHAT DOES BEING MIXED MEAN TO YOU?

It means being flexible and that I’m gifted with the ability to be a social chameleon.

DO YOU HAVE A LOT OF FRIENDS WHO ARE MIXED?

Kind of? I have a lot of friends from all over the world. Only a handful of actual mixed friends.

ARE THERE ANY COMMENTS YOU ARE REALLY TIRED OF HEARING FROM PEOPLE IN REGARDS TO RACE/CULTURE?

“You look basically white, so you’re white to us man.” I….what...ugh. Moving on.

WHAT IS YOUR DREAM FOR THE FUTURE OF AMERICA IN REGARDS TO RACE?

I dream of an America flushed with mixed-race babies. Racism is something that can be made a moot point if everyone, and their grandma, is mixed. It’s an inevitability. Until then, we’ll just enjoy paying less for sunscreen.

ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT TO SHARE?

Never let anyone tell you you belong to a particular race or culture. If you are mixed, you are uniquely you. Not white, not black, not latino, not Chinese. You are an amalgamation of millions of years of selective breeding. Congratulations, you probably have some of the best genes in your friend group. Embrace it, stand together, and work to spread cross-cultural awareness.

You can follow Steven on Twitter / LinkedIn

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FEATURED MULTIRACIAL INDIVIDUAL: MEET PAIGE RENE ROGERS

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Paige Rene Rogers, 25 years young

WHAT MIX ARE YOU?

My father Chad, is African American and I have honestly never dug deep into my father's history. He never really talked about where his family originated from but my mother on the other hand was always told by my grandmother where she was from. My mother Shelly, is part Irish/English hence where the red hair comes from :)

WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE?

Littleton, Colorado

IS THE COMMUNITY YOU LIVE IN NOW DIVERSE?

I live just south of Denver which I would say it feels pretty diverse being a big city and a lot of people migrating here. Littleton on the other hand is not as diverse and has a lot of old money in the small area.

WHERE DID YOU GROW UP?

I was born in Lansing MI and went to school there through 5th grade. My elementary school was very diverse and most of the kids in my class were mixed. Then I moved to good ole Mason MI where I then noticed I was the only mixed person in my class. I was 1 of 5 mixed kids in the entire school.

HOW DID YOUR PARENTS MEET?

My mom and dad met at a stop light when my dad rode his motorcycle, my mom loves a guy on a motorcycle. They pulled over and traded numbers!

WERE THERE ANY SIGNIFICANT OBSTACLES IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP CORRELATED TO YOUR BACKGROUNDS?

I would say yes, my mom's mother Yvonne was not a fan of my father because he was black. After my mom had my sister and I, my grandmother began to understand that we were her grandchildren no matter what color we are.

HAS YOUR EXTENDED FAMILY ALWAYS BEEN SUPPORTIVE OF YOU BEING MULTIRACIAL?

Absolutely! My aunts and uncles also grew up in a very diverse community so I think they were pretty used to seeing mixed children.  

DID YOU CELEBRATE TRADITIONS FROM BOTH SIDES OF YOUR FAMILY?

Um, not really. Both sides celebrated the basic american holidays and events. Nothing too special on either side.

WERE THERE MULTIPLE LANGUAGES SPOKEN IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD?

Nope, good ol’ English. My sister and I came up with our own language that we still use today but my mother likes to call it baby talk...

WHAT DO YOU ENJOY MOST ABOUT YOUR CULTURAL BACKGROUND?

5 years ago I found the plant based diet and I have been vegan ever since. Before I told my family I no longer ate meat or dairy I loved my grandma Rogers cooking! It was very fatty and delicious but I knew it was not the best for my body as I got older and learned more about food.

WHAT ACTIONS DID YOUR PARENTS TAKE TO TEACH YOU ABOUT YOUR DIFFERENT BACKGROUNDS?

I don’t think my parents ever thought about sitting me down and explaining to me why I am different than most of my friends in Mason. I am also okay with that because it forced me to see that there is nothing different about me and my friends besides my skin color and I never saw that as an issue. I was most interested in learning about my background to stop confusing myself LOL!

DID YOU TALK ABOUT RACE A LOT IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD WHEN YOU WERE GROWING UP?

No, not at all.

DO YOU IDENTIFY AS MIXED OR SOMETHING ELSE?

I identify myself as black when people ask me and I honestly just think I say that because that is what I have been taught to say. I feel like if I were to say “white” people look at me like I am lying. It really is a challenging question because society tells you to say one thing but then you look at yourself in the mirror and you see something completely different.

DOES RACE WEIGH INTO WHO YOU CHOOSE TO DATE?

I am currently engaged to the love of my life who is white, Chase. When Chase and I lived in Florida it was like the 60’s all over again. Sometimes people would stare when we went to dinner or ask us weird questions like “What do you 2 even have in common?” It was something I had not seen before and it was pretty uncomfortable at times.

WHAT DOES BEING MIXED MEAN TO YOU?

Bing mixed doesn’t have a whole lot of meaning to me because I see it as 2 people who fell in love created me. I am a human being with great skills and an open mind. I do not see color, I see people. Being mixed to me is show humanity that people of different races can come together and ignite love.

DO YOU HAVE A LOT OF FRIENDS WHO ARE MIXED?

My in-laws are mixed and I learn from them all of the time. It’s fun to hear stories from their past and how similar they are to mine. I have learned that LOVE is LOVE from all of them, no matter what color, sexuality or gender you are, you’re allowed to love WHO YOU WANT and be WHO YOU WANT.

ARE THERE ANY COMMENTS YOU ARE REALLY TIRED OF HEARING FROM PEOPLE IN REGARDS TO RACE/CULTURE?

It is definitely never said anymore but when I was in high school kids used to call me a zebra or an Oreo and now that I am older I understand how rude those comments actually were.

WHAT IS YOUR DREAM FOR THE FUTURE OF AMERICA IN REGARDS TO RACE?

My dream would be to forget about race over all but I know that’s a hopeful dream. But really, I want people to understand that it is okay to have a relationship with someone who is not the same race as you. It should not be this scary encounter or even uncomfortable. We are all HUMAN beings and that is the sad part. Sometimes we can’t even get along with our own species all because of the color of our skin….hmmmm

ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT TO SHARE?

I am a proud mixed woman, business owner, daughter, big sister, soon to be wife, personal trainer, yoga instructor and a leader. I am damn good at my job and building connections within our community for our business. I am a people person and color will never stop me from being ME.

You can follow Paige and her business on their website / business IG / personal FB / personal IG

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SWIRL NATION BLOG IS 1 YEAR OLD TODAY!

A year ago today Jenn, Kourtney, Amal and I launched Swirl Nation Blog! After many group phone calls and texts we got our baby launched and just hoped someone would want to read it! Since then we have been lucky enough to have almost 60,000 people make their way to our site. We can only hope they enjoyed reading what they found when they got there! 

Over the last 12 months we have been lucky enough to add contributing bloggers from all over the U.S. as well as the U.K and Puerto Rico. Their unique voices and perspectives have allowed the page to represent a wide variety of multiracial journeys. 

On social media we have worked hard to connect with the multiracial community, reaching out to others who are passionate about the topic and we feel so blessed at the many individuals and families who have agreed to be featured on our blog! We had fun heading to the 2016 Best Nine site to find out which of our Instagram photos got the most love, and here they are!

Our 2016 Best Nine from our Instagram page

We are so grateful for everyone who has contributed to the growth of Swirl Nation, whether through writing blog posts, or subscribing to our newsletter, or liking our social posts! All of it means so much! In 2017 we will continue to share the Multiracial Goodness! We are always looking for more stories to share and people to collaborate with. 

Peace and love in 2017 to you all. 

xx The Swirl Nation Team

P.S. If you are just joining us as a Swirl Nation Blog reader, welcome:) We thought it would be fun to share a few of our very first posts from last January so you can see where we started, and then explore the blog more to see where we are now. So here is a little look back, click on photos to link to the original post...

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FEATURED MULTIRACIAL INDIVIDUAL: MEET XAVIA OMEGA

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Xavia Omega, age 34

WHAT MIX ARE YOU?

African American / Native American / Irish / German

WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE?

Rochester, NY

IS THE COMMUNITY YOU LIVE IN NOW DIVERSE?

Yes, I picked this suburb in particular because as a community they strive to support diversity.

WHERE DID YOU GROW UP?

I was born in Denver, but mostly grew up in Rochester. The only mixed kids I was around were my siblings and there were a brother and sister that rode my bus.

HOW DID YOUR PARENTS MEET?

My dad owned a martial arts studio and my mom was a student.

WERE THERE ANY SIGNIFICANT OBSTACLES IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP CORRELATED TO YOUR BACKGROUNDS?

I don’t know much from my father’s side, but my mother’s side did not approve. They have always been loving of her children though.

HAS YOUR EXTENDED FAMILY ALWAYS BEEN SUPPORTIVE OF YOU BEING MULTIRACIAL?

As supportive as they can. Unless you are proactively educating and exposing yourself, I think it’s difficult to gauge what’s supportive for someone, if their background is so different from yours.

DID YOU CELEBRATE TRADITIONS FROM BOTH SIDES OF YOUR FAMILY?

Unfortunately, I was never exposed to traditions that related directly to the cultures I come from. It was something that made my identity struggle a little more intense.

WERE THERE MULTIPLE LANGUAGES SPOKEN IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD?

No. If someone is speaking Spanish I know enough words to get a general sense of what they’re talking about but I am not fluent.

WHAT DO YOU ENJOY MOST ABOUT YOUR CULTURAL BACKGROUND?

I enjoy the urban culture of my African American side. I love the music and clothing styles.

DID YOU TALK ABOUT RACE A LOT IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD WHEN YOU WERE GROWING UP?

There weren’t many discussions and I feel that’s a reflection of the generation. We never talked much about anything.

DO YOU IDENTIFY AS MIXED OR SOMETHING ELSE?

This has been a thorn for me for many years. When I was younger I never felt white enough to fit in there but I never felt black enough either. As I grew up, though, I began to identify as black; because I have never experience the privilege of a white girl but I have experienced much of the prejudices that come along with being a person of color.

DOES RACE WEIGH INTO WHO YOU CHOOSE TO DATE?

I’ve always been attracted to black men but race isn’t something I consciously consider. My current partner is black.

WHAT DOES BEING MIXED MEAN TO YOU?

Being mixed means that I get to enjoy being from more than one place. Even though I don’t know much about some of the cultures just the fact that I can not only explore them, but that they are a part of who I am as well, is exciting.

DO YOU HAVE A LOT OF FRIENDS WHO ARE MIXED?

Not a lot. I don’t think it’s as unusual as it was growing up so it’s not really something we talk about. I wouldn’t say I’ve learned anything related to being mixed, other than the fact that there are a lot more people who are mixed than I thought when I was little.

ARE THERE ANY COMMENTS YOU ARE REALLY TIRED OF HEARING FROM PEOPLE IN REGARDS TO RACE/CULTURE?

“What are you?” Drives me nuts, because it sounds as if something other than human is an option.

WHAT IS YOUR DREAM FOR THE FUTURE OF AMERICA IN REGARDS TO RACE?

I don’t want it to stop being a part of the discussion because I feel like there is so much beauty in each culture to be shared. But, I do dream that one day it won’t hold any more weight beyond that.

ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT TO SHARE?

Growing up, being mixed was something I got teased about quite a bit. It wasn’t familiar for a lot of people. I think it’s such a beautiful thing to see our diversity celebrated on so many platforms now, including Swirl Nation.

You can follow Xavia on social media her blog / FB / IG / TW

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FEATURED MULTIRACIAL FAMILY: MEET THE SEESTONE-RAMIREZ FAMILY

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MEET THE SEESTONE-RAMIREZ FAMILY

Annabella, age 22

Ecuadorian

African

Chinese

Swedish

Chris, age 22

Mexican

Leonardo, age 3

All of the above

WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE?

Provo, Utah

IS THE COMMUNITY YOU LIVE IN NOW DIVERSE?

No. I live in a predominantly white neighborhood and community.

WHERE DID YOU GROW UP?

I grew up in Palo Alto California which was fairly diverse. There were definitely a lot of other mixed kids around and my three best friends of 16 years are all mixed.

HAS YOUR EXTENDED FAMILY ALWAYS BEEN SUPPORTIVE OF YOU BEING MULTIRACIAL/BIRACIAL?

I grew up with my mom's family. I did not know my dad or his side of the family until I turned 18. It was always obvious that I was mixed, but no one else in my family is. I was the only one with brown eyes and most of my family has straight blonde hair. They were always supportive, but it was never really talked about.

DID YOU CELEBRATE TRADITIONS FROM BOTH SIDES OF YOUR FAMILY?

I only ever celebrated with my mom's side. Just recently I have been getting to know my dad's side of things.

WERE THERE MULTIPLE LANGUAGES SPOKEN IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD?

No. I only speak English. I am often mistaken for someone who speaks Spanish though.

WHAT DO YOU ENJOY MOST ABOUT YOUR CULTURAL BACKGROUND?

When I met my dad he took me out to eat Ecuadorian food. It was amazing and I have loved it ever since. I have done a lot of research about my ethnicities and I would like to be more in tune with my dad’s side of things culturally.

WHAT ACTIONS DID YOUR PARENTS TAKE TO TEACH YOU ABOUT YOUR DIFFERENT BACKGROUNDS?

When I met my dad he told me how important it is to know about my background on his side. My mom never really talked about it growing up.

DID YOU TALK ABOUT RACE A LOT IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD WHEN YOU WERE GROWING UP?

I did not have many conversations about race in my house because I didn’t really know that in other places in the country it wasn’t normal to be mixed. Where I grew up most people were either mixed or something other than white.

DO YOU IDENTIFY AS MIXED OR SOMETHING ELSE?

I usually identify as being Ecuadorian and White (Swedish).

DOES RACE WEIGH INTO WHO YOU CHOOSE TO DATE?

Race never had a play in who I dated. I ended up with a man who is full Mexican.

WHAT DOES BEING MIXED MEAN TO YOU?

I absolutely love being mixed. I love that no one looks like me. I don’t mind that people guess or ask what ethnicity I am. I am proud of being mixed. I love having the different cultures in my blood.

DO YOU HAVE A LOT OF FRIENDS WHO ARE MIXED?

Yes. I think all of my friends are mixed. I have learned that it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what our skin colors are. If you are dark, then you are blessed. If you are as white as paper, you are blessed. I think that whatever you look like, you should own it.

ARE THERE ANY COMMENTS YOU ARE REALLY TIRED OF HEARING FROM PEOPLE IN REGARDS TO RACE/CULTURE?

I think my only pet peeve is when people ask if my hair is real. It is just kind of disrespectful in my opinion. I have worked really hard on my hair, so I love when it is complimented but I do not consider “I love your hair! Is it real?” as a compliment.

HAVE YOU FACED ANY OBSTACLES AS A MIXED RACE FAMILY?

My fiancé has experienced a few instances of profiling in our town. He is Mexican American and he has gotten pulled over for no reason and he gets some dirty looks when he is with me and see that we have a son together. I’m not sure if they assume I’m full white or not. My son is one of two Latino students in his pre school, but so far we have not experienced any obstacles there.

HAS YOUR CHILD ASKED ABOUT RACE?

No. I don’t think he is old enough to understand.

WHAT ACTIONS WILL YOU TAKE WHEN YOUR SON IS OLDER TO TEACH HIM ABOUT EACH OF HIS BACKGROUNDS?
Once we have the money, my fiancé and I are planning to travel. We want to show him (and ourselves) our different cultures. We will go to my fiancé’s parents house for Christmas eve and show our son the traditions of his family, while we will go to my parents for Thanksgiving and show him mine. I think that it is all about balance and teaching him to love and respect all cultures.

HOW WILL YOU RAISE YOUR CHILD TO HONOR DIVERSITY IN OTHERS?

I think first is to teach him not to judge other people especially based on skin color, religion or culture. I think starting young and teaching him this will allow him to grow up respecting other people and cultures.

WHAT UNIQUE CHARACTERISTICS DOES YOUR CHILD HAVE FROM YOU AND YOUR PARTNER?

Our son has my eyes and eye color. They are large and light brown. He has tanner skin and it gets pretty dark in the summer. He has my curly hair, but it is also really thick like my fiancés. I am very short (5’0) but it looks like he is getting my fiancé’s height. (6’0).

WHAT IS YOUR DREAM FOR YOUR CHILD'S FUTURE AND THE FUTURE OF AMERICA IN REGARDS TO RACE?

I think that my dream is to have a world where color doesn’t matter. That we celebrate our differences in skin color, hair, eye shape, culture, etc. instead of judging each other.

ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT TO SHARE?

Being mixed shows a coming together. We are all so unique and beautiful. We need to celebrate that instead of bashing each other so much!

View fullsize

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You can follow Anna on IG and also her business account where she created custom, hand painted letters for kid’s rooms and nurseries!

Image is from Anna's Etsy page, click photo to go to page! 

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PODCAST WITH AFRO-LATINA ACTRESS CHANEL BOSH

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Swirl Nation contributing blogger, Chanel Bosh, was recently interviewed by Alex of Multiracial Media for his podcast where they discussed the unique experience of growing up Afro-Latina and growing up around the world in a military family.

Please take some time to listen to the podcast here and get to know Chanel and her story better! 

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Ep. 95: Chanel Bosh is African-American and Puerto Rican.  She is a proud Afro-Latina. She’s also a military brat, who grew up in various parts of the United States and the World, experiencing how different it was to be multiracial domestically and internationally.  Hers is a fascinating story of exploring and discovering identity at a young age.

Chanel also is an actress and writer, known for The Colonies (2015), Back to School Blues(2015) and Tomorrow (2014) who has much to say about the challenges faced by multiracial actors and actresses during the casting process.

You don’t want to miss this conversation!

And, for more on Chanel, please check out her iMDb page and her Instagram page.

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#ItsMineToDefine Giveaway

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Happy Holidays! I’m so excited to announce the last big GIVEAWAY Mixed Chicks will be hosting for 2016 that has something for everyone. If you have any social media platform (Twitter, Facebook, Instagram) you are eligible to participate!

Give us your favorite holiday hairstyle selfie and #Itsminetodefine by Dec 25th. Winners will be selected and notified shortly after.

You Must TAG

@mixedchickshair
@mixedchicksuk
@yourhairstoryseries

in your post or we won't see your entry, only 1 entry per participant

• Any social media platform can be used, but you must tag us so we can see it!!
• 3 winners will receive the kids product set w/spring bands
• 2 winners will receive the full men's line w/spring bands
• 1 winner will receive the leave-in conditioner w/redefining foam and spring bands
• 1 winner will receive deep conditioner w/replenishing oil, hair silk and spring bands 

I am excited to see your beautiful faces and encourage you to participate even if you have never used the products before. I look forward to seeing all the submissions.

Make sure to TAG and use the HASHTAG!

And follow on social media! Facebook  / Instagram / Twitter

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FEATURED MULTIRACIAL INDIVIDUAL: MEET SARAH RATLIFF

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Sarah Ratliff, age 49

I am just shy of turning 50 years old (on December 22).

WHAT MIX ARE YOU?

I am Black and Japanese on my mother’s side and German, Dutch and Irish on my father’s.

WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE?

Utuado, Puerto Rico.

IS THE COMMUNITY YOU LIVE IN NOW DIVERSE?

Not in the way you probably imagine. Puerto Ricans are like most in the Caribbean, Central and South America. Comprising West African, Taino Indian and Spanish, Puerto Ricans are mixed but unless they’ve mixed with something other than another Puerto Rican, most don’t consider themselves mixed.

WHERE DID YOU GROW UP?

I grew up in New York City in an extremely diverse area. All racial and ethnic makeups you can imagine--both monoracial and multiracial--as well as various religions. It was great! Back then I wasn’t raise to identify as mixed, but I didn’t feel uncomfortable having ambiguous looks. My first boyfriend was half Japanese and half Russian Jewish. I was raised to identify as Black. I hung out with kids who were every race and ethnicity, but I tended to align myself with Blacks and Puerto Ricans.

HOW DID YOUR PARENTS MEET?

Over the phone. It was 1958 and my mother was working for a prestigious company (still pretty shocking they hired a woman, let alone an “other” woman for the position. She was supposed to write an article about W. Eugene Smith (photographer who’d been with Time / Life for a long time). My father represented Smith. They talked for months over the phone and eventually the conversations turned personal. They fell in love and met and my father got the shock of his life when he realized she was Black. They broke up once or twice over it.

WERE THERE ANY SIGNIFICANT OBSTACLES IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP CORRELATED TO YOUR BACKGROUNDS?

The biggest two were the fact that while it was legal in New York State for them to be married, society hadn’t accepted interracial marriage. Imagine this was nearly a decade before the Loving vs. the state of Virginia, the outcome of which overturned anti-miscegenation laws on a federal level. The other was that my father’s father had been a Nazi sympathizer. He disowned my father for marrying my mother. My brothers and I never met him.

HAS YOUR EXTENDED FAMILY ALWAYS BEEN SUPPORTIVE OF YOU BEING MULTIRACIAL?

Ah well that’s an interesting question. I am not sure. My mother was an only child. My father had one brother who had two kids. I am not sure how my cousins felt about my brothers and me while we were growing up. They’re both about a decade older than I am, maybe more. My cousin Karen got married when she was 20 and I was 7, so she’s 13 years older. We were in different worlds because of age. I never knew if she was racist when I was growing up. I doubt it. I really do. Now she is very supportive. Her sister? She was always weird, but I don’t think she was racist. Her evidence is that she married an Argentine man but they’re mostly White, so that’s not an indication. I don’t think she was, but as I said, she was always weird. First she was into Scientology and then she became born again and said homophobic things so I don’t have a relationship with her.

DID YOU CELEBRATE TRADITIONS FROM BOTH SIDES OF YOUR FAMILY?

No, my parents raised us in a Black home but only kind of. It’s complicated but has a lot to do with the fact that my maternal grandfather had been living in the US illegally. So while Japanese would have been the ethnicity with different traditions to celebrate, we didn’t because my mother didn’t grow up with anyone of them. In fact, she didn’t really admit to being Japanese until long after my grandfather died. She feared being deported (my maternal grandmother was born and raised in the US and the Black side of our family goes back to at least the late 1700s).  

The notion of being raised with the traditions and cultures of Black vs. White is an interesting one in the US because try as I might, apart from distinguishing between foods and history, I am not sure what the differences are. Privilege doesn’t count as a culture. I’ve thought about this a lot over my lifetime and I am not sure what the differences in culture are. Unless we’re talking about where the respective peoples emanate from--Nigeria, Germany, etc. I am not sure what the differences are.

WERE THERE MULTIPLE LANGUAGES SPOKEN IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD?

My mother spoke German (unrelated to marrying my father), French and Latin. She made sure we were raised to speak French.

WHAT DO YOU ENJOY MOST ABOUT YOUR CULTURAL BACKGROUND?

Because I have never allowed my races and ethnicities to define my tastes, nothing. I love music, food, culture, clothing, etc. from various countries in the world. I was raised to be a Catholic / Episcopalian and I am an atheist today. I can listen to music from everywhere, figure out how to dance to it, etc. I love food from every corner of the globe. I can fit in with every group of people. You could plop me down in the middle of the Congo, Japan, Uraguay, Australia, Egypt, you name it and I could figure out how to adapt.

WHAT ACTIONS DID YOUR PARENTS TAKE TO TEACH YOU ABOUT YOUR DIFFERENT BACKGROUNDS?

To be respectful and open-minded. They also taught us to have healthy skepticism, bordering on paranoia. I question everyone’s motives, but in particular White people’s. I do operate off the assumption that most White people are even a little racist--even if they’re unaware of it. Although the majority aren’t KKK card carrying members, in my 50 years of living, I have seen that most have bias toward PoC in some form or another. Being the complexion I am allows me to see people for who they really are because most White people don’t realize I am not White or that I don’t identify that way. They let their hair down with me because they think I am one of them. Their reactions when they realize I was one of them--you know, those people--well, then it’s my fault they said those things. LOL

DID YOU TALK ABOUT RACE A LOT IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD WHEN YOU WERE GROWING UP?

Constantly just as I do now.

DO YOU IDENTIFY AS MIXED OR SOMETHING ELSE?

Since the summer of 2015 I have been identifying as multiracial. Prior to that, meaning for 48 years I identified as Black. I am still struggling with the Japanese because two reasons: I wasn’t raised that way and because I have found many Japanese people to be racist toward Blacks and other PoC. It wasn’t only my experience with my first boyfriend, but it’s happened enough times in my life that I have seen a pattern. Responses to Ariana Miyamoto’s capturing the Miss Japan Universe are accurate or similar to my experiences with Japanese people.

DOES RACE WEIGH INTO WHO YOU CHOOSE TO DATE?

My first three boyfriends were Japanese and Russian Jewish, Chinese and Puerto Rican. From there I only dated Black men but this is also a little problematic because there’s an elephant in the room in the Black community that emanates from slave days. Because of so much mixing (slaves owners raping slaves) thus producing lighter and lighter complected Blacks, the slave owners gave preferential treatment to them and made the darker ones work in the fields. The field workers were treated like holy hell. I don’t think this resentment was ever truly forgotten.

I have had many Black men fetishize me because of my light complexion while Black women sometimes took up deep resentment before I even opened my mouth. I can’t stand that kind of man, and with the women I have historically been very patient and won most of them over. At some point I stopped dating altogether. I met my husband and he transcends race. He was raised similarly to me in the sense that he doesn’t allow his race and ethnicity (he’s Black) to define his tastes in anything.

WHAT DOES BEING MIXED MEAN TO YOU?

I am still a work in progress. Ask me in ten years. It’s still very new to me. By and large it’s a good thing. I can see things from multiple perspectives but unfortunately I haven’t moved past the judging of White people and their privilege stage yet. I can on an individual basis, but not over all. I am working on that.

DO YOU HAVE A LOT OF FRIENDS WHO ARE MIXED?

I have never really thought about it. In the same way that I don’t allow race and ethnicity to define my tastes, I don’t allow either to define who I seek out as friends. Admittedly since I have been more active in the multiracial community I have made more multiracial friends, but I still don’t allow myself to seek people out based on race. I learn from everyone--even the White people I keep at arm’s length because I am certain they have some kind of bias in them.

ARE THERE ANY COMMENTS YOU ARE REALLY TIRED OF HEARING FROM PEOPLE IN REGARDS TO RACE/CULTURE?

Exotic. If I hear that one again, I may go insane. Generalizations about race are annoying. I also can’t stand it when people (mostly White) tell me there’s only one race--the human race. Yeah, that’s nice but until White people are being used as target practice by the police and always assumed to be stealing, killing, raping or taking drugs, then we can talk about that one race crap.

WHAT IS YOUR DREAM FOR THE FUTURE OF AMERICA IN REGARDS TO RACE?

Because I live outside the US (which by the way I left because of the racism), I think globally not just in terms of the US. I live for a day when race, gender and sexual orientation are non-issues.

ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT TO SHARE?

What you’re doing with this blog is great. Thank you!

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Sarah Ratliff is a corporate America escapee turned eco-organic farmer, writer, activist, serial entrepreneur and the co-author of the book Being Biracial: Where Our Secret Worlds Collide. Much of her writing focuses on racial equality, feminism and politics. Sarah publishes a site called Multiracial Media (partnering with stand up comic and host of the Multiracial Family Man podcast, Alex Barnett). Multiracial Media is a platform of artistic expression for the multiracial community. 

For more information about Sarah and/or to see samples of her writing, please visit her website.

SLAVERY IN 2016? AVA DUVERNAY'S DOCUMENTARY "13TH"

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Ava DuVernay, Director

I don’t watch a lot of documentaries, but my two younger sisters desperately urged me to watch “13th” on Netflix, directed by Ava DuVernay. I knew she had directed Selma, so I figured the documentary would be pretty good. I truly had no idea just how good it would be.

The documentary is based around, and named for, the 13th Amendment to the Constitution, which abolished slavery. The amendment was ratified in 1865 and stated: “Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction.” Somehow, I never really thought about the clause right in the middle of that sentence, “except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted.”

DuVernay’s documentary focuses in on that clause and details how she, and many others, believe that it is the reason so many African American men and other people of color are currently in our nation’s prison systems. She interviews scholars, white and black, and others who substantiate this claim with very convincing evidence. They all agree that the clause has basically allowed slavery to continue under the guise of keeping “criminals” behind bars.

I’ve known for many years that our prison system is broken and in need of a desperate overhaul, but I truly didn’t realize the extent of it until I watched “13th”. I also didn’t realize the degree in which our prisons are systematically and calculatedly filled. Listening to the people interviewed talk about how vastly interconnected the prisons are to huge corporations and political organizations was mind blowing and also extremely disheartening; especially given our current political climate in the wake of the presidential election.  

“13th” is an incredibly powerful film and I think DuVernay excellently weaves her claim into the broader picture of current race relations in the US. It truly speaks to a lot of the issues African Americans and people of color are dealing with today and, in my opinion, is a must watch for everyone. Regardless of the opinions or conclusions you come to after watching, it assure you it will have made you think a little harder about why so many African Americans are imprisoned and why so many people of color are continually and systematically disenfranchised.

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FEATURED MULTIRACIAL FAMILY: MEET THE THOMAS FAMILY

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MEET THE THOMAS FAMILY

 Kevin Thomas Jr, age 29

African American & Belizean/Garifuna

 

Nicholette Thomas, age 29

Polish, Italian, German

 

Lillian Thomas, age 5

African American, Belizean/Garifuna, Polish, Italian, German

 

Everett Thomas, age 2

African American, Belizean/Garifuna, Polish, Italian, German

WHERE DO YOU LIVE?

Buffalo, NY

HOW DID THE TWO OF YOU MEET?

We went to high school together at Hutchinson Technical High School in Buffalo, NY. We were friends first and started dating at the end of our Junior year.

WERE THERE ANY SIGNIFICANT OBSTACLES IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP CORRELATED TO YOUR BACKGROUNDS?

More so when we were younger we heard a lot of negative things when we would walk around, take the bus, or go out together. We’ve literally had old woman yell at us and call my husband “O.J” in reference to O.J. Simpson. I guess they thought he was (allegedly) going to kill me because of our skin? Who knows. We used to get stared at all the time, you know… the basics of being in an interracial relationship.

WHAT TRADITIONS DO YOU CELEBRATE IN YOUR HOME?

Something that has been important to me is that our kids learn about their cultures. My mother-in-law is from Belize and is of the Garifuna people. This is very important to her and an integral part of who she is. I’ve made sure to try to learn some of her culture to pass along to our children. One of my favorite things from her culture is this DELICIOUS dish call Hadut. She taught me the recipe and technique.  It’s a fish based dinner and it is amazing. She gave us this big wooden mortar and pestle that we use to make the plantains in…. It’s a beautiful piece to have in our home and we get to make it using the traditional methods. I’ve also tried to teach our daughter some of the words from her native language. I’ll admit they are hard for me to pronounce but I’m trying with the basics (i.e. the words for head, foot, mouth, etc).

In my family we didn’t really practice culture specific traditions. I would say I identify mostly with being Polish though as those that raised me were the Polish side. As a child we did a bit more, in regards to traditions. We live in Buffalo, NY and it’s the Dyngus Day capital. As kids we would get Pussy Willow’s and hit each other with them (sounds weird I know), wear beautiful crowns that we got from The Broadway Market, and garnish our Easter meals with our Butter Lambs (also from The Broadway Market.) My mom picks up a crown for my daughter to wear for Easter as well. I’ve been trying to teach our kids about our Polish culture though as I want them to know about all of their makeup. Recently I’ve started to tell them about Pierogis and how they are from their mommy’s culture. They look at me like I’m crazy and have no idea what I’m talking about… but it’s a start.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CULTURAL FEATURE/TRADITION OF YOUR SPOUSE'S RACE?

Oh! As I’ve said above I love my mother in law’s food! It is simply amazing. I’ve learned on dish and I want to learn more and incorporate it into our family. It’s so natural, flavorful, simple, but incredibly delicious.

IS THE COMMUNITY YOU LIVE IN DIVERSE?

It is but it isn’t. Buffalo, NY is very diverse, but unfortunately it’s still quite segregated by neighborhoods and towns. In our specific neighborhood we are on the border of the East Side of Buffalo and Cheektowaga. We specifically chose to live in that area so that we have access to a better school district for our children, but so our kids aren’t the only “brown” or “golden” (as my daughter says) ones in school. So far it’s been a good choice.

DO YOU OR YOUR PARTNER SPEAK IN MORE THAN ONE LANGUAGE IN YOUR HOME?

We both know some Spanish but definitely wouldn’t call ourselves bilingual. My Mother-in-Law speaks Garifuna and English so I’ve tried to learn some of the words to teach some basics to our children. I follow a facebook page that shares/teaches the language so I can learn more. I recently learned “Buiti Weyu” which means… Good Day! Part of my daughter’s middle name is from my Mother-in-laws native language. While I was pregnant with my daughter, my husband’s maternal grandmother and my younger cousin both passed. We combined a Garifuna word that means “granddaughter” and part of my cousin’s name to create her middle name. It’s very unique and special to us.

ARE YOUR EXTENDED FAMILY SUPPORTIVE OF YOUR MULTIETHNIC RELATIONSHIP?

They are. My husband and I literally have grown up together since we were 16 years old so we are a part of each other’s families. I call his siblings my sister and brother and he calls my sister his sister. It’s all love with us.

WHAT DO YOU ENJOY MOST ABOUT YOUR PARTNER'S ETHNIC-CULTURAL BACKGROUND?

Haha… like I’ve said above… the food!! It’s tastes amazing, it’s all natural and so flavorful.

DID YOU FIND BIG DIFFERENCES IN THE WAY YOU GREW UP VS. YOUR SPOUSE DUE TO DIFFERENCES IN RACE?

The only real difference that I can think of is that my husband grew up in a two parent household. I grew up in a single mother household. This is opposite of what a lot of stereotypes would suggest.  He’s had both parents for his whole life and my dad left when I was 4 so we struggled but my mother kicked butt and gave us the best life. Even though we were low-income she worked hard to make us not feel like that.  He and I grew up in neighboring neighborhoods so we grew up similarly in regards to that so I can’t really think of too many other differences to be honest.

I would say though, that even though I am white, until high school I was the minority in school. My neighborhood was predominantly black so I feel that has had an impact on who I am for the better. This is from my perspective though… my husband might have a different viewpoint. I’m interested to ask him.

WHAT IS THE MOST SURPRISING/UNEXPECTED THING YOU'VE LEARNED ABOUT EACH OTHER'S CULTURE?  

We are more similar than different. Love is love.

ARE THERE ANY COMMENTS YOU ARE REALLY TIRED OF HEARING FROM PEOPLE IN REGARDS TO RACE/CULTURE?

Ugh… I just posted about this on my fb page. There was an article titled (paraphrasing) “White parents who are the biological parents of Black kids.” That REALLY irks me. I get that society views those who have “brown” skin, and even “one drop” of black in them... As black. But! I grew my babies in my womb, I labored them, I almost died for them, I’ve breastfed them, and I’ve literally gave my blood, sweat and tears for them.  When people say things like that it makes me feel like I don’t count. I don’t like that. My children are mixed, multiracial, multicultural, biracial, etc. But they are not just ONE race/culture. They are both my husband and my children. They are unique, special, amazing, diverse little people and ALL of them counts.  

Also, my daughter has AMAZING hair. I hate when strangers think they can touch it. Just… no.

WHAT ACTIONS HAVE YOU TAKEN TO TEACH YOUR CHILDREN ABOUT EACH OF YOUR BACKGROUNDS?

I should’ve read ahead… Sorry! We’ve tried to teach them some of their maternal grandmother’s native language, some about foods from our cultures, and one day we want to visit Belize to show them where their grandmother is from.

HAVE YOUR CHILDREN ASKED ABOUT RACE?
My daughter has noticed it. I’d say she was around 3 years old. We just explained to her that some people are one color, some are another, and that we are all beautiful and special.

DO YOUR CHILDREN IDENTIFY AS MIXED OR SOMETHING ELSE?  

According to my daughter, I am white, daddy is black, and she and her brother are “golden.”  :)

HOW DO YOU RAISE YOUR CHILDREN TO HONOR DIVERSITY IN OTHERS?

Whenever my daughter brings something “different” up she notices in others (i.e. maybe a male with makeup on) I casually just remind her that we are all different. I try to not make it a “thing” and react. I want people being unique and different to be a normal, accepted thing for them. I try to use everyday moments as teaching opportunities.

WHAT UNIQUE CHARACTERISTICS DO YOUR CHILDREN HAVE FROM YOU AND YOUR PARTNER?

My daughter’s hair is AMAZING. It is incredibly long (almost to her knees when wet), and curly. I had really long hair as a child, but it was/is stick straight. My kids have my cheeks and my husband’s lips. They also have my hairline. We go back and forth with who we think they look like. We can’t decide!

WHAT DOES BEING MIXED MEAN TO YOUR CHILDREN?

My daughter sort of gets it. My son is definitely too young at this point but it is very important to me to teach them to be proud of who they are. I remind my daughter that she is amazing, and her differences make her unique and special. I try to teach her to love her curly hair and “golden” skin. So far I think we’ve been successful.

WHAT IS YOUR DREAM FOR YOUR CHILD'S FUTURE AND THE FUTURE OF AMERICA IN REGARDS TO RACE?

My dream is for my children to grow up loving who they are and being able to just be themselves. I don’t want them to have to “choose” a side and identify with one race. I would just love for America to understand that our beautiful, unique mixed babies are the future of the world. Love is love no matter the amount of melanin in our skin.

ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT TO ADD:

You can follow me, My blog is themixedmamablog.com where I share tips, tricks, and tutorials for multicultural haircare. There will also be stories of our lives and the issues/situations we face as a multicultural family.

I also just launched an online store, TheMixedShop.com!  The online store brings natural/multiracial hair care products, diverse toys & books, and other specialty items all into one spot. 

I can be found on Social Media at: Facebook , Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram. I also have an online FB group that is sort of an online support group for multicultural families from around the world to share stories, pictures, get advice, vent, and just have a sense of community. That can be found here: The Mixed Mama Community.

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MULTIRACIAL #WCW: ZADIE SMITH

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With husband, poet Nick Laird

This remarkable woman just came out with another novel and I’m so excited!  She was the featured guest for Fresh Air on NPR about a week ago and I sat in a parking lot for the full-hour interview. 

OK, so backing up…

I read White Teeth, very late, right before I became pregnant with my daughter in 2007.  I couldn’t put the book down.  Zadie Smith is so lyrical, so RAW.  Being mixed-race herself, she writes from a deep place about growing up mixed-race.  She examines immigrants and their children and the tug and pull of longing for a homeland while making a home in a new land; a new land where your neighbors are from all over, doing the same thing.  She is witty, truthful, and a great storyteller.  White Teeth, her debut novel, won the James Tait Black Memorial Prize for fiction, the 2000 Whitbread Book Award in category best first novel, the Guardian First Book Award, the Commonwealth Writers First Book Prize, and the Betty Trask Award. Time magazine included the novel in its TIME 100 Best English-language Novels from 1923 to 2005.

Can we say “baller”?

Since her debut novel, Smith has written four more novels, countless stories, and essays.  She’s brilliant.  And this is really a Woman Crush for me – I know I wrote about Rose Bertram before, but I don’t know much about Rose Bertram, except she’s very attractive, is dating a hot soccer player, and has an amazing Instagram.  Rose could be quite the erudite, I just don’t know; however, Zadie Smith finished White Teeth while in her final year at Cambridge University...

A little more about this woman du jour (taken from Wikipedia):

Zadie Smith was born as Sadie Smith in the north-west London borough of Brent to a Jamaican (Black) mother, Yvonne Bailey, and an English (Caucasian) father, Harvey Smith.  Her mother had grown up in Jamaica and migrated to England in 1969. Their marriage was her father's second. Zadie has a half-sister, a half-brother, and two younger brothers, one of whom is the rapper and stand-up comedian Doc Brown and the other is rapper Luc Skyz. As a child, she was fond of tap dancing; as a teenager, she considered a career as an actress in musical theatre; and as a university student she earned money as a jazz singer and wanted to become a journalist.

Her interview on Fresh Air made me fall in love even more – it can seriously be its own post.  She is so intelligent and insightful.  A couple excerpts:

On a poll that found that about seven in 10 Donald Trump supporters thought life in America was better in the 1950s

Zadie Smith:

This is a very interesting point for me because that kind of historical nostalgia is only available to a certain kind of person. ... I can't go back to the '50s, because life in the '50s for me is not pretty, nor is it pretty in 1320 or 1460 or 1580 or 1820 or even 1960 in this country, very frankly. So that's what interests me — the historical nostalgia that is available or not available to others.

I am also historically nostalgic, and the left is also historically nostalgic, and as tempting as it would be to apply the solutions of 1970s semi-socialist England to present problems, I don't think that's possible either. I think the idea is that you find some way to restate the things you find valuable in the past — if you find them valuable — in a way that people can live with, in a way that's livable in this contemporary moment.

On how being biracial allows her to blend in with different cultures

Zadie Smith:

I think people of my shade all over the world will have these experiences: You might go to Morocco and people will believe you Moroccan; you might go to Egypt and be confused for an Egyptian; you might find yourself in Bangladesh and people are talking Bengali to you. It's an interesting mind state, one I've always found very enjoyable, actually. ... I guess ... the movability of the identity is interesting, whereas I suppose a white person is white wherever they go. They're kind of stuck with it, whereas I find the interesting interpretive quality that my shade creates in others curious — sometimes funny, sometimes upsetting, sometimes alarming.

And I haven’t even mentioned her beauty and style.  I’m providing photos for that…

And she can hold her own standing next to a model and fashion designer

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THE SALDANA SISTERS THEIR EQUAL OPPORTUNITY LOVE

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So, some people got heated over the above photo of Zoe Saldana and her sisters…

From accusations of self-hate, to entitlement, people (presumably black men) were not happy with the sisters’ romantic choices:

Jen forwarded this to me because I come from a family of four girls and every last one of us married non-Black men.  With the exception of my younger sister, we ALL equal-opportunity dated – Black, White, Latino, Asian, and every mixture of all of those…

My oldest sister married her first love at 18.  He is white.  They have three beautiful children.  My brother-in-law married my sister knowing she had a terminal illness and he would have to take care of her.  He took care of her until she died, and I can assure you he still loves her very much. 

My older sister had a child with a black man.  Things did not work out and she raised my niece as a single mother until she met her current husband.  He is white.  They have two children together and he takes care of my niece from my sister’s first relationship like she was his own.

My little sister fell in love with her husband.  He is white.  They have one daughter together and his daughter from a previous marriage.  I am so happy for my little sister to be married to this man because he’s just a REALLY good guy.

They are ALL really good guys.  I totally notice they are white – they are like, white, white, super-, like “OMG” white; but I KNOW in my heart they didn’t marry these men because they are white.  They married them because they are good guys and treat them really well.  I know this because I married my non-Black husband.

I didn’t have a “type”.  I was so equal opportunity, with one exception: my dates needed to be tall – the taller the better.  When I met my husband, while wearing heels, he was shorter than me.  I did not want to like him.  I still think he did some Santeria/Voodoo on me because I can’t control my love for him.  I’m crazy for him.  Literally.  I risked having short offspring to be with him.  No one can make me laugh like him.  No one can make me as mad.  I love his short little Latino ass.  I love him to the moon and back, and I can tell you, with sincerest honesty that I didn’t go out looking for a non-black man to marry because I hate my race.  I was looking for a man to make me feel this way.  We’ve been together for twelve years, married for ten of those years, and we have two very lovely children who are being raised to be proud of both heritages.  (oh, and by the way, I’m his first black relationship… he wasn’t purposely seeking me because of my race either)

So please stop with this “they date outside their race because they hate themselves.”  I’m sure Zoe and her sisters don’t hate themselves.  Although I agree there has been a lot of messed up stuff that has gone on throughout history to make us Black people feel bad about ourselves, I am sure that is not why Zoe Saldana and her sisters are with these men. 

If you love black women, more power to you.  I have a secret, the Saldana sisters aren’t the only black women in the world.  In America, many black women are single.  Sadly, statistically, black women are least likely to marry than any other woman of another race in America.  Unfortunately, black women represent the largest percentage of single mothers in America.  Over half of black women over the age of 18 have had some college, so they are educated.  You are complaining about these THREE women… get over it.

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PODCAST WITH MULTIRACIAL HAIR STYLIST AND ENTREPRENEUR SYLVIE VAUGHT

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We are very excited that Alex of Multiracial Media recently interviewed hair stylist and entrepreneur Sylvie Vaught for his podcast.

Sylvie and her family were one of the first families we featured on Swirl Nation Blog back in January!

Please take some time to listen to the podcast here and get to know Sylvie better! 

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More information can be found here

Ep. 94: Sylvie Vaught is is African American, Choctaw Indian, Irish, and Russian/Romanian Jewish.  She is a multiracial woman in a multiracial family who has experienced multiracial life in Canada and the United States.  Currently, she works as a hairstylist, with a particular sensitivity and affinity for multiracial hair.

Sylvie is also a a co-founder of Blow Me Hair App a Los Angeles and Orange County based on-demand beauty that connects available hair stylists with clients interested in a professional blowout or up-do in the convenience of their home, office, and hotel.

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WHEN "THE HATE" SLAPS YOU IN THE FACE

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Don't you hate when you are minding your own business, just wasting time on Instagram and then BOOM! You are slapped in the face with hate. That's what happened to me this weekend. I saw this Banana Republic Factory Store ad sponsored in my feed. Normally I would ignore this ad because I am not a Banana Republic kind of girl and I also hate Outlet stores, but the multiracial couple caught my eye. Of course my first instinct, as the founder of Swirl Nation Blog and the mother of a biracial daughter, was "awwww how cute are they?!". But that was instantly me with a feeling of "oh shit, I bet the comments are full of ignorance." Unfortunately my feeling was correct. 

Over 3,000 people of course liked this photo so I don't want to discount that, but as usual those with the most hateful voices tend to also have the loudest. I am not one to engage with people on social media, especially in an argumentative way, but I was certainly tempted. Also since this is an ad, and not a post that will remain on the company's profile, I decided to screenshot the hate to preserve it for all to see. 

I have been the target of some social media hate in my day. All of the messages have been from insecure white men who feel like I "wasted my white genes" by having an biracial daughter. I've been asked why I "ruined myself" by dating black or multiracial men. These are always fun DMs to get. One was by a former high school classmate of mine, or at least that is what he said, I couldn't see his face because his profile photo was him in a KKK hood. Yup, this world is a scary place. 

Recently the hate has become more vocal. People are no longer hiding their racist views and with social media they can broadcast them to the world within seconds. As a mother with a daughter who is in middle school, it worries me what she may innocently come across when she's least expecting it. That's what happened here, just scrolling along, seeing what my friends are up to and BAM! Racist assholes trying to mess up my day. 

You can go through the whole chain below: 

Banana Republic is owned by the same company as The Gap and Old Navy. This Spring Old Navy got a lot of attention for their use of a beautiful mixed family which got endless attention from racists. As a company these brands have always been progressive in their use of interracial couples and multiracial families. I'm happy they do not back down to the hate and continue to share a diverse sampling of the human race. 

Instances like this remind me why we started Swirl Nation Blog. Sometimes living in Los Angeles it is easy to think that everyone thinks like I do. The latest election is a giant wake up call of course. Hate is prevalent and as @mshite2you says, is "trying to rise up again". Those of us who are involved and passionate about the multiracial community need to keep spreading love.

The idea of sheltering my 12 year old daughter from racism and hate is attractive, but wouldn't do her any good. She needs to know her history and she needs to know the current state of race relations in America. And of course I hope if "the hate" slaps her in the face one of these days I hope she can be confident and strong in the face of discrimination. I hope outlets like this site will help her and other multiracial people feel loved, accepted and supported- for we are stronger when we battle back together against those who are filled with ugliness. 

I also hope corporate America will continue to represent diverse couples and families in advertising. I recognize this often brings them backlash to the companies, but I have noticed an increase in diverse casting choices the last couple years. The Cheerios commercial with the multiracial family probably got the most press and recently we featured the new Chase Bank commercial that follows an interracial love story. I wish everyone in this world was as smart as the kids in this video: 

Some wisdom from these kids: 

"Think about those people that are of mixed races, they probably feel horrible because of messed up people like the ones commenting." 

"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

"In real life there are family of all races." 

"It definitely will get people mad, but eventually those people will just realize it doesn't really matter."

So I want to thank Banana Republic Factory Stores, and all of the other brands that realistically portray America's families, don't back down to the hate.

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FEATURED MULTIRACIAL COUPLE: MEET KELSEY AND PAUL BLASI

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Kelsey Blasi, age 23 & Paul Blasi, age 26

WHAT MIX ARE YOU?

Kelsey: Black & Filipina American

Paul: British & Irish American.

HOW DID THE TWO OF YOU MEET?

Attending School at University of Texas at San Antonio, he was my next door neighbor. He was locked outside his dorm and my roommate and I were sitting at table a few feet away, when he walked over it was the closest thing to love at first sight that I have ever experienced.

WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE?

San Antonio

IS THE COMMUNITY YOU LIVE IN NOW DIVERSE?

Yes, we live in a very diverse area. Mostly Latino and Hispanic descent.

WHERE DID EACH OF YOU GROW UP? WERE THEY DIVERSE COMMUNITIES?

Kelsey: Texan born and raised grew up in Austin TX. Somewhat diverse community very & liberal.

Paul: Grew up in New York. Very diverse community

Paul's grandmothers on the end and Kelsey's in the middle

HAVE THERE BEEN ANY SIGNIFICANT OBSTACLES IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP CORRELATED TO YOUR BACKGROUNDS? 

I have never felt like there were any significant obstacles that we have faced do to our differing backgrounds, we have always felt that our differing background, views, and opinions are what make us a stronger couple. It allows us to step outside of what we know and what we are comfortable with in order to learn and grow. The key is to always be open minded.

WHAT DO YOU ENJOY MOST ABOUT YOUR PARTNER'S ETHNIC/CULTURAL BACKGROUND?

Kelsey: His family is incredibly musically gifted, I love visiting his family's home because it is never quiet, there is always music playing his dad could be on piano, his mother on violin, his sisters singing or his brother on the drums each one of them a completely unique style, but all of them talented.

Paul: I enjoy the diversity of her mixed background in her family whether it be food or tradition it always seems like there is a new experience to have.

WHAT IS THE MOST UNEXPECTED THING YOU'VE LEARNED ABOUT EACH OTHER'S CULTURE?

I’ve learned to do away with stereotypes, no matter the culture or race the family love is the same and dad’s always get the good chair.

ARE BOTH OF YOUR FAMILIES SUPPORTIVE OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP?

Yes!  We are so blessed that both of our families are so loving and happy for us.

Kelsey and her family

ARE THERE BIG DIFFERENCES IN THE WAY YOU GREW UP VS. YOUR PARTNER DUE TO DIFFERENCES IN RACE?

I wouldn’t say there were huge differences in the way we grew up. However, we did grow up differently but I’m not sure that our race played the biggest role in those differences. I was born and raised in TX an only child of divorced parents both ex-military, I had to grow up rather quickly because both of my parents worked and there was really no one else to take care of me.

Paul grew up Upstate he’s number 4 out of 6 siblings. His mom stays at home and his dad is a businessman whose job has moved them all over the world even to Japan for a short time. Family dynamic is probably the difference we have.

Paul and his family

ARE THERE ANY COMMENTS YOU ARE REALLY TIRED OF HEARING FROM PEOPLE IN REGARDS TO YOUR INTERRACIAL RELATIONSHIP?

I don’t really feel as though we hear a lot of negative comments about our relationship it's not really taboo where we live and, we are fortunate in the fact that most of our close friends are in interracial relationships as well.  But of course there’s always time for jokes in our group and I don’t know how many times I’ve heard… “Yeah Paul likes his coffee like he likes his women. “

DO YOU TALK ABOUT RACE A LOT?

Yes, and I feel like even more so in this past year with everything happening in our country. It can be a little unsettling for an interracial couple watching the news today. The fear that our country isn’t as forward thinking as we had hoped for. It’s important to talk to each other about these things to help one another gain perspective and in turn help others gain that same insight. We’ve been given a unique privilege as an interracial couple to have the ability to reach more demographics and possibly reach people who would have otherwise felt defensive or less eager to be open-minded on topics that affect our country. I believe just being who we are as an interracial couple shows people who might not even know us that different is beautiful and despite what they may have been taught or what they believe love is love no matter its race, or religion.     

WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE BIGGEST CHALLENGE IN BEING IN AN INTERRACIAL RELATIONSHIP?  

Trying to see things from the other person's perspective, it’s one of the reasons why I feel that it is important to talk about race in our relationship. We’ve been together for going on 6 years and we are still learning how to communicate our perspectives. The world we live is unfortunately not a fair one, but it is important to make the best out of any situation that you are given.  We’ve talked about starting a family soon and how we’re going to raise our children and keep them informed I don’t want my children to ever feel inadequate for being mixed I want them to feel empowered by it.  

WHAT IS YOUR DREAM FOR THE FUTURE OF AMERICA IN REGARDS TO RACE?

My dream for America has already started to come to life as a child of mixed race I am happy to eventually have children of my own who are even more culturally and genetically diverse than me. I am both excited and optimistic on what kind of enlightened future they will have.

You can follow Kelsey on IG

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