My husband is horrible about remembering, birthdays, holidays, anniversaries.  I know this can be used as an excuse and I don’t want to say I’ve given up, but I understand these things are not important to him, so I deal with it.  This being said, we have NEVER celebrated a Valentine’s Day.  Not while dating, not while married.  We have been together a total of eleven years.  ELEVEN Y-E-A-R-S.  And this is just a fact of my life.

It used to bother me.  I would wait and hope he would remember.  Disappointment.  I would remind him and hope things would change.  Disappointment.  I would get really hurt by it, every year.  I would cry and think he didn’t value me.  I would tell him this and he didn’t get it.  He told me wanting gifts is superficial.  Finally, I took the Love Languages Test.  My top two love languages are: Acts of Service and Gifts.  I had my husband take the Love Languages Test.  His top two love languages: Acts of Service and Words of Affirmation.  He didn’t even score on the gifts.  He got a 0.  Instead of me being disappointed a few times a year, I told him he doesn’t have to buy me gifts anymore.  I will get my own gifts.  I actually prefer it.  Instead of him buying me another pair of panties or workout gear – I can probably wear a different pair of panties every day for three months and not do laundry – I will buy something I actually want.  Will my husband every surprise me with a nice purse or jewelry? No.  Will I ever be surprised with a car? Not a chance.  But at least I know this. 

I just got a little depressed writing that…  I guess it still bothers me.  BUT I have the most fabulous, thoughtful friends and they make up for it.  Maybe I can describe the perfect Valentine’s Day, or ideas that would make my heart happy.  And actually, it wouldn’t have to be on Valentine’s Day, I actually think Valentine’s Day is stupid.  It could be on either my birthday or anniversary.  I think writing a heart-felt letter about how much you care, appreciate and love someone is the best gift ever.

I hope I didn’t depress the ish out of everyone…