Culture Shock: Three Weeks in India

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This past summer I had the privilege of visiting India with my husband, Ethan, and his younger sister, Emily. All told, it was an incredible experience and I am glad that we went despite the oppressive heat and a few bumps in the road (literally and figuratively). I’ve given the trip quite a bit of thought as it was unlike any trip we’ve ever experienced; which is good thing, but something we were wholly unprepared for. I knew I wanted to write about our experience, but I struggled to focus in on one specific theme. Our experiences with India’s people, places and food were varied and cover many of the different trials and triumphs of travel. In the end, I’ve come to realization that the overall theme is one of culture shock.

We’ve certainly experienced varying degrees of culture shock. Probably the most when we lived and taught in Thailand for 6 months. However, we had time to get used to it and eventually Thai culture became normalized for us. I guess we thought that if we could handle that we could handle anything. It certainly helped, but I’m not sure anything could have prepared us for India.

The first thing I really struggled with was being covered up. Hindu culture is fairly conservative and most women (at least where we were) wear long pants or skirts and long sleeve shirts. My body doesn’t handle heat very well, so I was definitely nervous about being respectful, but not dying of heat. I was very unprepared for the heat and ended up going to the Taj Mahal in shorts and a tank top because I knew I would not last in pants and a shirt. We figured there would be throngs of other Westerners doing the same, but there weren’t. And I don’t mean they were there, but covered up - they just weren’t there. There were maybe 15 other Westerners there. And us. I’ve never felt so naked in my life. I kept pulling my shorts down and trying my best to be a little more modest. Our guide assured us that we were fine and that people understand that we aren’t used to the heat. That didn’t make me feel any less uncomfortable though. The hardest part was not getting mad and keeping myself from thinking of how unfair it was that women had to be covered and men didn’t a lot of the time. Many Indian men we met literally never wore a shirt. This topic alone could span pages and pages, but it’ll have to wait until another time. I could also spend many pages talking about how hard it was to get used to the general way we were treated as women in India. Everyday we faced this when our driver would only take directions from Ethan. I would tell him where to go and he would look directly at Ethan and ask again. It was difficult to walk that thin line between cultural acceptance and understanding and wanting all humans to be treated equally regardless of religion, culture, etc.  

Another thing that shocked us was the amount of people that wanted pictures with us. It started at the Taj Mahal and lasted the entire trip. This happened on occasion in Thailand, but it was pretty rare and they mostly wanted pictures of Ethan because he’s 6’3”. This was something completely different and it took us all by surprise. Everywhere we went, people would literally line up to take pictures with us. And if we said yes to just one person, it was over. There would be several more waiting. As soon as one group would leave, another would show up and want to pose with each of us individually - and sometimes they just wanted my husband and his sister, we assume because they are white. Once, a guard chased a group of twenty-something guys away from Emily and I. It was pretty funny, but we also wondered why he thought that was necessary. It’s definitely a bit of a catch 22 because we wanted to be open to this unusual practice and we often struck up conversations with these people if they spoke decent English. But we also struggled to let go of our norms of politeness; we just don’t do this where we live. 95% of our trip was spent in the Rajasthan state and it was apparent that they don’t get as many white visitors as some other places in India. They definitely cared more about getting pictures with Ethan and Emily, which was strange for me because I always get approached in countries where my skin color is close to the native population. I was mistaken for being Thai more times than I can count. One person told me my hair was too light to be Indian. Overall, people taking pictures with us was frustrating at first and was a big surprise, but we rolled with it and tried not to let our Western standards of politeness impact our experiences with the Indian people.

The last thing that we struggled with in India was getting invited in for tea. You may be thinking, “Isn’t that a good thing?” Yes, it was. To an extent. At first, we were apprehensive about this practice mainly because it’s not something that we are used to in the U.S. We were also told by our driver not to take drinks from strangers. It’s always an exercise in letting go of what you’re used to in any country, but we’ve also grown accustomed to just kind of going about our agenda while traveling and not really taking the time to immerse ourselves. I think some of you can probably relate. It’s hard to commit to an indeterminate amount of time drinking tea when there are sights to see! We wanted to try and make sure we were actually experiencing India though, so we agreed to a few of these tea invitations. We spent over an hour drinking tea and playing chess with one guy and spent another hour with a guy in his shop who then tried to talk us into buying traditional Indian saris. He showed us how to put them on, which was awesome, but we didn’t exactly budget for them monetarily or for the actual physical space they would take up in our bags. Even though some of these tea sessions ended with us being slightly frustrated, we were glad we accepted. We learned a lot about how the Indian people go about their lives iand how they felt about a lot of the things going on in the world. Spending our precious sightseeing time with strangers drinking what we hoped was actually tea was definitely a huge departure from what we’re used to and I, especially, had to set aside my constant urge to politely excuse us and go about our travels in our own little bubble.

Our time in India was certainly an exercise in patience. However, in letting go of our Western social norms and at least trying to embrace an unfamiliar culture, I think we all grew as travelers and human beings. After all, I think James Michener said it best, “If you reject the food, ignore the customs, fear the religion and avoid the people, you might better stay at home.”

Traveling is my number one passion in life and I hope to see as many countries as I can. Of all the places I’ve been, India tested me the most. So, I encourage you to visit if you ever get the chance. It will likely impact you in ways you never thought possible.

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FEATURED MULTIRACIAL INDIVIDUAL: MEET WES OCEAN BENT

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Wes Ocean Bent, age 32

WHAT MIX ARE YOU?  

I consider myself bi-racial and have always embraced my mother and father’s ancestry. When people ask about my racial heritage, I give them the full breakdown. My mom is African-American from Nashville, Tennessee, and my dad is English Canadian, born and raised in Ontario. The world may see me simply as an African American man with light complexion, but it’s important for me to recognize both sides.  

WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE?

I recently moved to Los Angeles, California (in the past month).

IS THE COMMUNITY YOU LIVE IN NOW DIVERSE?

Definitely! I relocated to Los Angeles to have access to more cultural diversity.

WHERE DID YOU GROW UP? 

I grew up in Sonoma County, CA about an hour north of San Francisco. Sonoma and neighboring Napa are popular California Wine Country destinations. My hometown is also known for the iconic redwood forests and Snoopy (the famous Peanuts cartoon was created in my city). The population is mostly white and hispanic, however, there is a tight knit population of African Americans and many East Africans. I used to joke that I probably knew every black person in town. In high school I gravitated towards the black and mixed kids but our squad was pretty diverse.

HOW DID YOUR PARENTS MEET?

My parents met on a ferryboat in Vancouver, British Columbia. It was during the post-Vietnam War era, and my folks were definitely the free spirited type. They were both revolutionary in their own right and after they met were vocal about fighting for change in America. The rest is history…

WERE THERE ANY SIGNIFICANT OBSTACLES IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP CORRELATED TO YOUR BACKGROUNDS? 

Yes, there were tons of obstacles. At the time it was almost sacrilegious for a black woman, raised in the segregated south, to marry a white man and have children. I remember when I was with my dad, people would often look at us with a perplexed expression, a white father with two black sons. They must be adopted, right? To this day, every time my dad and I go to the airport, the ticket agent asks my dad, “Is this gentleman with you?” He usually replies, “we’re together, don’t you see the resemblance.”

With my mom, it was usually the subtle nuances of pulling a child close or running to grab their purse. Most of her adult life, my mom has worn dreadlocks which probably intimidated some people, especially living in a predominately white community. I’ve heard her respond to people countless times, “I don’t want your purse, I’ve got my own money.” It doesn’t bother me as much anymore. I guess some things you just learn to deal with and move on, but it wasn’t as easy as a child.  

HAS YOUR EXTENDED FAMILY ALWAYS BEEN SUPPORTIVE OF YOU BEING MULTIRACIAL?

Fortunately, I’ve never had issues with my mother or father’s extended family and I’m extremely grateful for their acceptance and peace.

DID YOU CELEBRATE TRADITIONS FROM BOTH SIDES OF YOUR FAMILY? 

Growing up we traveled to Nashville almost every year around Christmas, some of my happiest memories. I still remember the smell of black-eyed peas, collard greens, turkey with all the fixings, and chitins. Couldn’t get down with those, but there was always more than enough. My aunts and uncles were usually in the kitchen cookin’, chillin’, laughin’. They shared stories, played spades, and had a good time. This probably sounds familiar to some. After all, these traditions are an integral part of the black experience. Soul food is rooted in West African cuisine and represents the traditions of our African ancestors. I love to cook, it’s a rite of passage to honor these traditions that were handed down by my great, greats. I’ve learned important lessons from these traditions: love the ones that are here, celebrate and honor the ones that came before, and reach for the stars.

I’ve been blessed to have two strong households. Despite the long distances, my grandparents and extended family were always within reach. My paternal grandparents lived an idyllic Canadian quiet life. They enjoyed farming, playing cribbage and being together--riding horses bareback in Nova Scotia. I have a cookbook from the last family reunion. I suppose cooking is a way that I stay connected to my mixed cultural heritage.

WERE THERE MULTIPLE LANGUAGES SPOKEN IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD?

I speak English and some Spanish. My friends point out that I pronounce “theater” with a southern drawl. A throw back to Nashville.

WHAT DO YOU ENJOY MOST ABOUT YOUR CULTURAL BACKGROUND? 

I’ve always felt a visceral connection to the oldies and music of the Civil Rights era. Even as a youngster, I would listen to the Temptations, Otis Redding, Marvin Gaye, Barry White, just to name a few. I enjoy the stories that are told through jazz, blues and folk music in the black community. You can hear the ache and pain of the movement, and hip-hop has been the latest instrument of change for my generation. Tupac got a lot of play in my house growing up too, partly due to close family ties. My parents didn’t approve much of Tupac’s explicit lyrics, but understood he was a byproduct of his environment and they could relate to his revolutionary nature.  

WHAT ACTIONS DID YOUR PARENTS TAKE TO TEACH YOU ABOUT YOUR DIFFERENT BACKGROUNDS?

My mom traveled to Ghana, West Africa for 13 consecutive years. She would return home with hand carved drums, yards of kente cloth and wax print. In 2012, I finally had the opportunity to go myself. We stayed for a few days at the WEB Dubois Center in Accra and two weeks in Tamale a predominately Muslim community in the Northern Region of Ghana. Our final destination was Cape Coast, home to the oldest and largest slave dungeons in the world. It was definitely a surreal experience standing on the ground, where millions of West Africans were stripped from their homeland and shipped off across the Atlantic to foreign lands. It was a stark reminder of the sacrifices my ancestors have made to endure slavery and still have the will to fight for freedom. We’re so many generations removed from our African lineage, but traveling to Ghana was one the best learning experiences I’ve ever had. I’m a firm believer in Yoruba proverb, Sankofa which means, “you must reach back to reclaim that which is lost in order to move forward.”

On my paternal side I am a descendent of John Bent who arrived on Plymouth rock in 1638 and founded Sudbury, Massachusetts. There is an oil painting of one of our ancestors in the Harvard Medical School library. Peter Bent Brigham founded Brigham and Women’s hospital in Boston, Ma. Our family reunions honor other historically significant events that have shaped the Bent legacy as well. In the early 19th century Bent’s Fort was founded, one of the main trading posts in the Western United States prior to the Spanish American war. I’m proud of the pioneering spirit of my English heritage as well.

DID YOU TALK ABOUT RACE A LOT IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD WHEN YOU WERE GROWING UP?

Yes, it was a regular topic in my mom’s household. In middle school, my mom and her friends started the Black Student Union when they realized there was no existing club on campus. We would meet a couple times a week, usually watch a movie on Black History and have an open discussion about race and identity.

DO YOU IDENTIFY AS MIXED OR SOMETHING ELSE?

I’ve always identified as mixed, African American and English Canadian or black and white.

DOES RACE WEIGH INTO WHO YOU CHOOSE TO DATE? OR IF YOU HAVE A PARTNER WHAT RACE ARE THEY?

I’ve been known to have a type and race has probably played into it. I’m engaged and my fiancé is also multi-ethnic. Her mother is African American, born in Detroit, and her father is Ugandan.

WHAT DOES BEING MIXED MEAN TO YOU?

I think culturally when you think of the term, “mixed” you think of black/white or black/asian because it’s probably the most common. I also agree with those who identify race is a social construct. To this date I get tripped up on which bubble fill-in. I’m not purely African American or Caucasian. I usually circle “African American,” if no other choices but wish there was a “fill in the blank” option.  The question kind of rubs me the wrong way, next time I think I’ll just leave it blank.

DO YOU HAVE A LOT OF FRIENDS WHO ARE MIXED? 

My parents settled in Sonoma County, CA because it’s liberal and for the most part accepting of different races, religions and lifestyles. I met my best friend, Kenji in kindergarten; his father is African American and mother Japanese, both originally from the Bronx, NY. Kenji is just a good dude. He’s someone that I can call on anytime and confide in and say “I love you man” because that’s what brothers do. I met my good friend, Wes while attending Long Beach State University. We connected instantly on the whole biracial thing, quickly realized we both had a white father and black mother, which is fairly uncommon. He invited me to move to Brooklyn a few years later, and I had the opportunity to interact with people daily from various races/ethnicities and quickly realized I was part of a much larger multi-racial, international community.

ARE THERE ANY COMMENTS YOU ARE REALLY TIRED OF HEARING FROM PEOPLE IN REGARDS TO RACE/CULTURE? 

I get tired of people throwing around the N-word like it’s the thing to do. It’s overused in hip-hop lyrics and many people have become numb to it. It’s never been part of my vocabulary, and I wouldn’t be caught dead saying that word in my mom’s household.  

WHAT IS YOUR DREAM FOR THE FUTURE OF AMERICA IN REGARDS TO RACE?

I have a dream that politics, police, and people of color will bridge the gap in understanding. There’s a huge mistrust and rightfully so. It doesn’t help the cause that innocent people are dying at the hands of police. I try to stay hopeful and prayerful but sick and tired of being sick and tired. Although, I have a faith in the millennials and the next generation, partly because this country is becoming more and more blended/ mixed. I have a dream that there will be more transparency in the justice system, with tactical reform policies and rehabilitation for minor drug offenses. There are a disproportionate number of blacks and Latinos in US prisons, and it’s not a sustainable future.   

ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT TO SHARE?

When I was growing up most of my curriculum was structured around popular white fairy tales, and experiences in American History, with little reference to black history. I guess with the exception to the month of February. My mom always laughed at the notion of a month dedicated to “black history month,” and made sure we were informed on the history that wasn’t being taught in school. She told us about her experience with the black liberation movement, joining sit-ins to confront racial segregation. We also read books on black historians, including George Washington Carver, Madam C.J. Walker, WEB Dubois and countless others who were an integral part of US History. We would go to Oakland regularly just to be around people of color, drumming sessions, kwanzaa celebrations, etc. I remember going to see Maya Angelou when I was 9 years old, and had the pleasure of meeting her.

Colin Kaepernick’s recent decision to take a knee in protest of the injustices is very relatable to my experience. One morning in 5th grade, I decided to sit out the pledge of allegiance and was sent to the principal's office. They called my mom down to the school and said, in order for me to stay in that school, I had to stand during the morning pledge. After a long dispute with the school administration, I stayed at the school and compromised that I would stand up, but it was my choice whether or not I wanted to recite the pledge. I applaud Kaepernick and all the other public figures that are coming forth to take a stand, unwilling to settle until there’s "justice for ALL."

You can get to know Wes even better and check out his photography on his website. 

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IN MY HEADPHONES: BRUNO MARS

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I LOVE Bruno Mars, his energy is contagious and I think he's an amazing performer. Bruno is from Honolulu and his name is actually Peter Gene Hernandez. He is Multiracial, his father is half Puerto Rican and half Ashkenazi Jewish and his mother is Filipino and Spanish. At the age of two, he was nicknamed "Bruno" by his father, because of his resemblance to professional wrestler Bruno Sammartino.

I was Hulu-ing SNL last night and was so excited to see him as the musical guest because my daughter and I have been singing 24k Magic constantly the last couple weeks.

The sound of 24k Magic reminds me of 90s break dancing and definitely has a big dose of retro in it. If you listen to it once, you can basically sing along almost every word the second time around! Billboard puts it far better than I ever could:

“24K Magic,” which corrals Grandmaster Flash, Zapp & Roger, Rick James and the whole of G-funk into three minutes and 46 seconds, while adding some modern ornaments (“Got to blame it on Jesus / Hashtag blessed!”) for good measure. Mars, who grew up impersonating Elvis Presley and started his career as a songwriter for other artists, has become a superstar thanks to a knack for channeling different pop eras through his warm, expressive persona. Yet only recently have his gestures to the past become so explicit that a new single can produce memories of several classics upon first listen.

His SNL performance did not disappoint! Why you mad? Fix yo face! is without a doubt my favorite lyric:) Here is his live performance and then the official music video for the song is below that. 

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YUKO KUDO - I AM ME

I Am Me! What strong wonderful words. They make a simple phrase, yet say so much. My wonderful friend Yuko Kudo came up with that phrase, well maybe she didn’t exactly come up with it, but she has used the phrase to create a movement.

Yuko is from Japan and considers herself a Japanese person that comes in a fun size. She loves people more than anything and considers loving people her superpower. I can attest that this is indeed the case. She has a vision where everyone in the world celebrates their authenticity. I believe Yuko can achieve this dream!

She is an Artist, Actor, Singer, Photographer, Writer, Essential Oil Enthusiast, Yoga Teacher, Entrepreneur, and a student of life. Or simply put, a renaissance woman.

Alex – How did you come up with the “I Am Me” project?

Yuko – It might sound cliche but it came to me during a meditation one day, soon after I left my day job at the restaurant. It was loud and clear. I didn’t know what exactly I needed to do, but I knew that I was called to do this. In the beginning, I didn’t notice. But what I notice now is that this was not only for others to celebrate their authenticity, it was also for me. I was afraid of being who I am when I grew up. I was trying not to stand out, trying not to share my stories, trying not to be me . . . I wasn’t able to say “I AM ME.”

When I started how people don’t see what I see, it made me sad. People don’t know how beautiful they are, how talented they are, how worthy they are. They are afraid of how other people see them, how people judge and criticize them, or to own their light and power. I wanted to scream, and I did for a number of times, that “YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL INSIDE and OUT.”

“You are more than enough”

“You are who you are for a specific reason and there’s no mistake.”

“Your story matters, your voice matters”

And I wanted them to get it. As much as this is everybody’s journey, this is also my journey. I want to be able to own my light, my power, my story. So, that’s my story. The continuous journey of owning this one simple phrase, “I AM ME,” and celebrating that every moment.

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I believe in Yuko and her project so much! I even participated. It was empowering and a wonderful experience, and you too can join in! Yuko is looking to spread her message!

Please visit her website for more info!

IG // FB // TW

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FEATURED MULTIRACIAL INDIVIDUAL: MEET JOANNA THOMPSON

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Joanna Thompson, age 28

 

WHAT MIX ARE YOU?

My father is Black, from Washington D.C. His side of the family is mixed with European White and Native American, specifically Iroquois. My mother is Hispanic, from Nicaragua in Central America. Her side is also mixed with Native American, specifically Cherokee.

WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE?

On the north side of Chicago, Illinois in a neighborhood called Lincoln Park.

IS THE COMMUNITY YOU LIVE IN NOW DIVERSE?

Unfortunately, not so much. It is predominately White. I have lived in this neighborhood for about 4 years and have recently noticed a growing Asian population. However, there are very little Blacks and Hispanics.

WHERE DID YOU GROW UP?

I was born in Alexandria, Virginia, which is a suburb located in Northern Virginia, right outside of Washington D.C. I lived in Virginia until I was in preschool, at which point my parents moved to Rockville, Maryland, where I was raised. Rockville is another suburb of the Metropolitan Washington D.C. area.

Rockville was a very diverse community. I always joke that I had the “United Nations of Friends” growing up because I knew people from different races, countries, and cultures. I only knew one other mixed kid who clearly identified as such; she is Black and Hispanic like me. Otherwise, I did not know any other mixed kids. However, despite not knowing other mixed kids, race was not much of an issue where I was raised. Not to say life was perfect, but I think because the area was so diverse and we all accepted each other’s differences, race was not really seen as an “issue.”

HOW DID YOUR PARENTS MEET?

My mom and dad met while working at a Marriott in Bethesda, Maryland. My mom, who had come to the United States from Nicaragua in the 70’s for better opportunities, moved to the northern Virginia area to finish high school and eventually get a good job. My dad was also hoping for the same, as he was preparing for community college and a career himself. In the early 80’s, my grandma (my dad’s mom) was working at said Marriott when she happened to hire my mom and dad around the same time. After meeting and chatting a few times at work, they began a courtship.

It’s kind of funny how they started talking because my mom actually lied about her age to my dad when they first started seeing each other. My parents are 10 years apart, with my mom being older than than my dad. At the time they were dating, my mom was 29 while my dad was 18. My mom told my dad she was around 23, but eventually came clean when she realized how much she liked him. Even with the large age gap, my dad had fallen for her too and they have been happily married for 34 years.

WERE THERE ANY SIGNIFICANT OBSTACLES IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP CORRELATED TO YOUR BACKGROUNDS?

Yes, race played a big role on both sides of the family for my mom and dad. On my dad’s side, there was criticism from older members of the family because he was dating/eventually chose to marry a “foreigner.” He was scolded for not marrying a Black woman and my mom was interrogated quite a bit by members of my dad’s family in order to understand just what her intentions for being with my dad were. The issue of age also played into this due to the large age gap between them.

On my mom’s side, there was always the notion the children of the family would marry someone who identifies as White. My mom is the second youngest of 13 brothers and sisters and many of her siblings who were dating/married before her were in relationships with White males/females. For her family, White = wealth. After growing up in poor conditions in Nicaragua, they believed in “The American Dream” and a part of that meant starting families with wealthy, White individuals. When my mom told her brothers and sisters she was in love with a Black man, she was immediately shunned from the family. To this day, communication with her siblings is rare because they never really respected her choice. The only person who did was her mother, who was loving of all people no matter who they were. Unfortunately, she passed away shortly after I was born.

HAS YOUR EXTENDED FAMILY ALWAYS BEEN SUPPORTIVE OF YOU BEING MULTIRACIAL?

My dad’s side has been much more supportive of my being mixed compared to my mother’s side. I think this is due to two main reasons. First, as previously mentioned, my dad’s extended family is mixed. My great grandmother on my dad’s side is White, of European descent, so many of my aunts and uncles are mixed Black/White. In addition, many family members have married other races; therefore, having the mixedness apparent on my dad’s side of the family is nothing new. Mixed-race is a part of the norm and it is very apparent given we have a gradient of skin colors on that side, from dark to light.

On my mom’s side; however, it is a different story. Even though my mom’s side believed in marrying outside of their race (i.e. marrying individuals who identify as White), the mix is not as apparent, and if anything, they seem to only appreciate a White/Hispanic mix. The fact that I am Black/Hispanic, to them, means I have been tainted, a child of the “One Drop Rule.” As previously mentioned, my mom does not have much contact with her family because she married a Black man. Even now at the age of 28, I have had minimal contact with her side of the family myself because they do not really recognize me as a part of their family due to my racial mix.

DID YOU CELEBRATE TRADITIONS FROM BOTH SIDES OF YOUR FAMILY?

Yes, I am fortunate to have had parents who raised me to be proud of both sides of my racial makeup. My dad never considered himself to be African-American, even though he knows his background definitely has roots in Africa, so I have never had any African cultural traditions like that from him or his side of the family. If anything, his culture, being from Washington D.C. consisted of social traditions that have been passed on. For example, he raised me to be a lover of sports. From football to hockey and everything in between, that is something we have always shared together as a family.

On my mom’s side, there are a bit more specific cultural traditions she has shared. My mom cooks delicious Spanish food, like Arroz con Pollo (chicken with rice) and handmade tortillas. Being in the kitchen with her, watching her cook, and trying to learn to do it myself have been a tradition in my household. One tradition both of my parents’ share is their love of music. Again, this may be considered more sociocultural than strictly cultural, but it is a part of the traditions my parents and I have come to share. I grew up listening to funk music from my dad and Juan Luis Guerra from my mom and being surrounded by their eclectic tastes in music helped me to learn more about my parents, where they are from, and what matters most to them. Plus, listening to Spanish music really helped me learn the language!

As I continue to think of family traditions, one tradition we actually created is putting up our Christmas tree on Thanksgiving Day. My mom is a devoted Catholic. My dad was not as religious before meeting my mom but has since become very strong with his sense of faith. The Christmas tree tradition is a mixture of my parents’ beliefs, helping to display their strong sense of family and God. Even the year or two I have not made it it home for Thanksgiving, due to school or work, I have always made sure to put up my Christmas tree on Thanksgiving Day, while watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, of course!

WERE THERE MULTIPLE LANGUAGES SPOKEN IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD?

Yes, my mom speaks Spanish fluently, so I would always hear Spanish throughout the house, and still do to this day. Even though my parents have been married for 34 years, my dad does not speak it, he just knows the basics and can comprehend some things! And unfortunately, I am not as fluent with my Spanish speaking either. I grew up speaking English in almost every facet of my life, so my Spanish is a bit shaky. However, I can understand it well and can read and write it fairly well. I am guilty of always responding to my mom in English whenever she would speak to me in Spanish, which probably did not help much! But again, being raised in a suburb where English was so dominant, I never really gave in to using my Spanish...and I still respond in English when my mom speaks to me in Spanish to this day!

WHAT DO YOU ENJOY MOST ABOUT YOUR CULTURAL BACKGROUND?

From my mom’s side, I definitely enjoy the food! And it is a love for Latin food in general, not just delicacies from Nicaragua. I am thankful that many common ingredients like carne asada or plantains are featured in dishes from many different Latin countries. I also highly appreciate Spanish music/pop culture. I grew up watching Telenovelas (soap operas) with my mom and as I previously mentioned, listening to Spanish music. These are things I still do today and appreciate very much. Spanish food and music are definitely two things that have helped me feel more connected to my Hispanic side. Although I am not as religious as my mom, I do appreciate what I have learned about God and religion from my mom’s strong Catholic background.

From my dad’s side, even though there are not many specific cultural things connected to his background, again, I definitely enjoy the more of sociocultural background he has. I am very close with my dad’s side of the family and I think it is because we all appreciate the time we spend together as a family. Despite ups and downs, which come with any family, we have always managed to be there for for each other when it comes to family functions, dinners, and outings. One of my older cousins on my dad’s side, DJ, is like a brother to me. I am thankful I am able to just hang out with my dad’s side of my family and maintain that cultural importance of family.

WHAT ACTIONS DID YOUR PARENTS TAKE TO TEACH YOU ABOUT YOUR DIFFERENT BACKGROUNDS?

Growing up, and even to this day, my parents never let me forget that I am mixed. And in doing so, both of my parents made sure that I would be proud to be both Black and Hispanic. They never wanted me to feel like I had to choose or feel like I am half and half, but rather a set of two whole races and cultures. My dad always said that because we live in America, I will always be seen as Black first, but that should never dim my Hispanic side. Even though I do not speak Spanish much, my parents always make sure I am using it at some point throughout my days so I would not lose it and not lose my pride in that part of my culture. And both of my parents have always told me stories/shown me pictures of their childhood experiences, being open and honest with me about where they come from so I could understand my roots.

DID YOU TALK ABOUT RACE A LOT IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD WHEN YOU WERE GROWING UP?

YES! Race was and always has been a topic of conversation in my household. On the one hand, my parents and I always get many a confused look when we travel together; people who are unsure what is going on between us and whether we are all really related or not. This always stems a conversation between us, which usually consists of a few laugh as we analyze what those confused looks may have have meant. In addition, as I have progressed through higher education, I am always talking to my parents about race and racism to bounce ideas off of them and to simply engage in some good conversation! On the other hand, for my extended family on my dad’s side, skin color and colorism have always been a heated topic. Despite racial mixing on my dad’s side of the family, there is a lot of tension between those who are dark and those who are light. There have been many comments made in regards to colorism in the family, along with its intersection with class and how certain family members are treated/treat others. Then again, being from the DC area, race and politics are always talked about, so I think my family just has it in their genes to get into discussions and debates about race!

DO YOU IDENTIFY AS MIXED OR SOMETHING ELSE?

I identify as mixed-race/mixed/multiracial. I do not necessarily consider myself biracial because even though I am predominantly Black/Hispanic, I do have Native American and White blood in me, so I feel more multi- than bi-, haha!

DOES RACE WEIGH INTO WHO YOU CHOOSE TO DATE?

Even though I have dated individuals of different races, race does play a minor role in who I choose to date. Sometimes, I feel like my eye is drawn to people of color or people who are visibly mixed. It’s as though I feel I will connect more with a person of color because they will understand the highs and lows of what it means to be a person of color in today’s world. Not to say a person who identifies as White will not, but sometimes I just feel like I will find it a bit easier to engage in those hard social conversations with a person of color. However, as someone who is currently on the dating market, I am definitely open to dating people of all races and racial mixes because in the end, connecting with a person takes into account more than just their race!

WHAT DOES BEING MIXED MEAN TO YOU?

Being mixed to me, as cliche as it may sounds, means that I have the best of multiple worlds. I have Black, Hispanic, White, and Native American blood flowing through my veins and that means a lot to me. I think it makes me a beautifully layered person. It gives me strength and confidence to know that I am literally, multidimensional and an intersection of society and history. I do not give into the “tragic mulatto” stereotype because I do not think being mixed is a tragedy, I think being mixed is great! Do not get me wrong, I have struggled with feeling like I will never be “Black enough” or “Hispanic enough,” but I think as I get older, I realize that I am indeed more than enough.

DO YOU HAVE A LOT OF FRIENDS WHO ARE MIXED?

I do not have a lot of childhood friends who are mixed, but fortunately, I am lucky to have made new mixed friends throughout my graduate school career, mostly from when I travel for conferences. I do not get to see these people everyday, but I am thankful to communicate with them about mixed-race issues. From them, I have learned different perspectives of the lived mixed-race experience because their mixes are different from mine. Therefore, their ups and downs based on their racial backgrounds have been interesting to compare and contrast with mine. In addition, having a network of mixed friends has given me an outlet to vent, and have them vent to me, about things that happen in pop culture regarding mixed-race or challenges of being mixed-race in academia, since many of my mixed-race friends are also in grad school as well.

ARE THERE ANY COMMENTS YOU ARE REALLY TIRED OF HEARING FROM PEOPLE IN REGARDS TO RACE/CULTURE?

One comment I have been tired of hearing recently is that “mixed-race people do not count.” From the speech Jesse Williams gave at the BET Awards a few months ago to San Francisco 49ers Quarterback Colin Kapernick protesting the National Anthem, mixed-race individuals have once again been put into a corner where they have to either choose a side or just be denied by both sides. Mixed-race people count, all sides of their racial mix, whatever that racial mix may be. Mixed-race people are not confused or unaware of who they are. It’s beyond time for people who are not mixed-race need to recognize that and accept it.

WHAT IS YOUR DREAM FOR THE FUTURE OF AMERICA IN REGARDS TO RACE?

I am a very optimistic person and I have a very utopian vision for the future of America in regards to race. I honestly hope that one day, the issue of race will no longer be an issue. I think one day we will all be racially mixed to some degree and at that point, we should not have to worry about racial differences and classifications because being mixed-race/multiracial will simply be the norm. And hopefully from this, racial violence will eventually decrease or cease to exist. Again, a very utopian dream, but I do hope it comes true someday!

ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT TO SHARE?

I am a Ph.D. Candidate and instructor in the Department of Criminology, Law, and Justice at the University of Illinois at Chicago, where I teach an undergraduate course on criminal justice organizations. I received my MA from the Department of Criminology, Law, and Justice at UIC in 2012. Before coming to UIC, I received my BA in Criminology and Investigations with a minor in Professional Writing and Editing from West Virginia University in Morgantown, West Virginia. My research interests include further understanding the formation and perception of biracial identity theory and interracial relationships, focusing on critical mixed-race studies to emphasize the intersections between mixed-race identity and interpersonal victimization. My dissertation study examines bullying related victimization of mixed-race identified college students at the University of Illinois at Chicago.

You can learn even more about Joanna HERE, and also on social media: FB // IG // LINKEDIN // SNAPCHAT @jotothejo00

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WHY SELF-IDENTIFYING AS MULTIRACIAL IS STILL NEW AND NOT AUTOMATIC FOR ME

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I grew up in New York City during the 1960s and 70s. Although I grew up in a very racially, ethnically and culturally diverse area—which included several interracial families—it wasn’t the norm to raise kids in that time period to self-identify as more than one race.

Although nobody specifically said so, all of us multiracial / Biracial kids were living according to the one-drop rule. For many of us, my family included, this had to do with which parent’s race was more discriminated against.

In my particular case, and I know I am hardly unique, my father’s father disowned my father for marrying my mother. I never met my grandmother or my father’s father. I saw my father’s brother and his family no more than a dozen times while I was growing up. My mother was an only child whose parents died before I was born and so the tragedy is that while I had grandparents living, one of them refused to meet his grandchildren and the other was too scared to try and have a relationship with her grandchildren.

This compounded my parents’ decision to raise us to self-identify as Black.

Now I know what you’re thinking. Why do I know? Because it’s been expressed to me eleven million times over the nearly half century I have been alive. “Girl, have you looked in the mirror? Do you realize you don’t look Black?” Some have even gone so far as to say, “girl, you ain’t really Black.”

But I am. And I am White and I am also Japanese.

My mother was Black and Japanese and growing up she had a hell of a time in upstate New York. As one of the two “colored” families in her small town that had a heavy KKK presence, my mother and grandparents were accustomed to having rocks thrown their window and crosses burned on their front lawn.

It was bad enough that my maternal grandmother was colored, but for my mother to have had a Japanese father both before and during World War II, oh my poor mother! She had two friends, and both were not so surprisingly the daughters of the other colored family in town, who, as it happened, lived upstairs from my mother.

My father had a whole other set of circumstances growing up. He grew up about 75 miles north of my mother in a town with many German, Dutch and Irish immigrants. My father’s father was German and my paternal grandmother was Dutch and Irish.

I am not sure there is a word to describe how my father’s father felt about people who weren’t White, Catholic and straight. Hate might not be quite strong enough. I’ll say this, he really hoped Adolf Hitler had been successful at exterminating all the Jews, Gays and Gypsies. And I mean all. And when Hitler was done with them, if he’d have just rounded up all the Asians, Muslims, Indians, Pakistanis, etc. etc., people who spoke Spanish and anyone with a hint of African in them, then in his view, the world would have been a better place.

He threw around the term Aryan frequently.

His reaction to my father marrying someone who wasn’t White was pretty predictable. My brothers and I were branded the criminal mistakes. My paternal grandmother wanted to meet us, but she was too fearful of him to go against him.

So had there even been a term for multiracial back then, my parents would still have chosen to raise us to self-identify as Black.

(If you’d like to read my entire story, it is part of an anthology of essays of people from around the world who are either Biracial / multiracial or the parents of multiracial kids I co-authored called Being Biracial: Where Our Secret Worlds Collide.)

As I grew up and dated and eventually moved out of my parents’ home to explore life as an adult, things had apparently begun shifting and people whose parents were different races were starting to embrace terms to indicate this. I missed this boat, you see.

I moved through the world continuing to self-identify as Black and responding to folks who questioned my insistence on aligning myself with a race of people who looked so different from myself.

And as all multiracial people have expressed (even if only to themselves), dating for the multiracial person is a serious challenge. Imagine for someone like me who was light, bright and clearly half White but who self-identified as Black. I really didn’t do myself any favors because what was typically considered Black back then: musical tastes, dressing a certain way and adopting a certain vernacular, I was so out of my league. None of me conforms to anything—White, Black or Japanese. My brothers and I were raised to appreciate music, art and culture from all over the world and not to allow arbitrary, unimportant and what society deems as the “usual” descriptors to define us.

What made me Black wasn’t something just seen on the outside but more importantly the history—good, bad, ugly and brutal—of our people, culture and awareness of how people who lack color treat those with color. This, in my opinion is what defines Blackness, not the ones that can change as we grow older and have new tastes.

And believe me when I say other folks tripped over this while I didn’t pay it any mind. Why should I?

White men were intimidated by me. They usually made the assumption I was militant because I didn’t (and still don’t) have to self-identify as Black … and they wouldn’t have been too far off the mark. I was pretty militant in my early 20s and I still am.

Asian men didn’t know what to make of me. Most assumed I was Puerto Rican and expected me to be some kind of bizarre combination of Chita Rivera, JLO and Rosie Perez.

Black men have always been able to pick up on the fact that I am a sistah, but this comes with its own problems. Many brothers I met were colorstruck and didn’t date me for me but because I was light complected and I could give them light babies with “good hair.”

I didn’t know the term for it then, but if I were dating today, I’d be quick to slam them for fetishizing me.

I dated a few Hispanic men and this was problematic too because there are hangovers from Spanish colonialization about color. Not unlike those that exist within the Black community due to slavery and miscegenation, in many Hispanic and Latino cultures, fair skin and straight hair are preferred. I think I was supposed to keep my mouth shut with their mothers because they were very happy to believe I was Puerto Rican (which I look) but when I explained that I am Black with some Japanese and White, things didn’t go so well after that.

And so dating was always challenging. My first boyfriend, who was Japanese and Jewish (Orthodox) had very racist parents. While they were pleased I was part Japanese, the Black part wasn’t so cool with them. His mother used to tell me I should go date my own kind. I explained that the only men I ever met who were my own kind were my brothers and there are laws against this.

She didn’t like my sarcasm. I was banished from her home. I never dated a Japanese or a Jewish person again.

When I was tired of guys assuming I was too militant, too strong, too into this or that to be Black, or of them fetishizing me or dating me so they could piss off someone, I decided to stop dating any more Black, Hispanic, Asian or White men again.

Well, talk about a challenge now because unless I had made the decision to date someone who was more than one race, I was kind of sh*t out of luck, wasn’t I?

It was fortunate for me that at the point I was ready to give up and join and convent, I met Paul.

Black on both sides, whose parents were of very different complexions, Paul’s family spans the color wheel just like mine. Raised to appreciate culture from all corners of the globe, loves science, the one word I use to describe Paul is Paul. He can’t be put into a box and this was by design. His parents didn’t put their kids into any box.

Paul never fetishized me. He also never questioned how I self-identified. What has always been important to him is that I can form an opinion about things, that I am not a sheep, that I am independent from him and see him as a partner. That we have the same political and ideological views is a huge a bonus for us both.

And so when people ask about the glue the holds Paul and me together and why we hit it off so quickly, this is it.

Through working on the Being Biracial book with my co-author Bryony (who’s White and married to a Black man), we came in contact with contributors from all over the world who embraced these terms I had never used before: Biracial, Multiracial and Mixed Race.

Yeah, I need to get out more.

Regardless of age, most all of them self-identified as multiracial or those who had kids were raising their kids as mixed race. It was so different from how I was raised. Through writing my own essay and doing lots of soul searching, I began exploring the idea of accepting that I am multiracial. It was foreign to me but yet it made sense because when I held true to my Black identity, I wasn’t always accepted and was often expected to show my credentials before I could enter conversations.

Shortly after the book was published in September 2015, Bryony and I met a man who interviewed people in the multiracial community about their experiences. When Alex Barnett interviewed the two of us and I would say I had mostly accepted or perhaps embraced the fact that I was multiracial, although depending on the situation, I can easily morph back into self-identifying as Black.

I am not sure who approached whom, I believe it was Alex who approached me but the next thing I knew we were talking about creating this platform of artistic expression for the multiracial community and on March 23, 2016 Multiracial Media was born.

The more I have become part of the multiracial community the more acceptance I feel and the more at home I feel—with my tribe. However, I will always vacillate between self-identifying as Black and multiracial.

The cool thing is that while I am going through a bit of an identity crisis, Paul hasn’t changed how he feels about me. I am still ostensibly the same person. My views about life, treatment of PoC, racism, etc. haven’t changed, even if I waffle at times about who I am on the inside.

I am not sure exactly where I am today. I have been a full-fledged member of the multiracial community for over a year and I have never felt so much immediate acceptance. I think that’s probably enough, isn’t it? 

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FEATURED MULTIRACIAL INDIVIDUAL: MEET CARLA COOK

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Carla Cook, age 38

WHAT MIX ARE YOU?

Mexican and Black

WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE?

Northwest Indiana

IS THE COMMUNITY YOU LIVE IN NOW DIVERSE?

Yes

WHERE DID YOU GROW UP?

I was born and raised in Northwest Indiana. It’s diverse by Midwest standards but not NYC diverse. Growing up there was one other family that was mixed.

HOW DID YOUR PARENTS MEET?

My parents met in 7th grade and dated throughout school. They were married during Spring Break of their senior year in high school. In March they will celebrate their 40th anniversary.

WERE THERE ANY SIGNIFICANT OBSTACLES IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP CORRELATED TO YOUR BACKGROUNDS?

Yes, although my parents dated throughout school my maternal grandparents were unaware of their relationship. My mom got pregnant her senior year and when my grandparents found out that not only was she pregnant but pregnant by a black guy she was kicked out of the house. A few weeks later they were married and eventually everyone came around and things worked out.

HAS YOUR EXTENDED FAMILY ALWAYS BEEN SUPPORTIVE OF YOU BEING BIRACIAL?

Overall, yes I believe they have always supported and accepted us. There have been times when comments were made that I wasn’t “black enough” and my hair has always been an issue.  On my mom’s side I have always felt accepted by my family that actually lives in Mexico-it’s the Mexican American cousins that have, at times, made comments or treated me differently…

DID YOU CELEBRATE TRADITIONS FROM BOTH SIDES OF YOUR FAMILY?

Lots of traditions especially related to food. Yes, my father’s side always had black eyed peas and gumbo for New Years Eve. Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter dinners were always a huge production-tables loaded with food, family prayer and games after dinner.

My mother’s side is much larger and we get together much more often. Every Sunday my 93 year old Wella makes pancakes for the entire family (22ppl). We also make tamales at Christmas and have family cookout every warm weekend in the summer.

WERE THERE MULTIPLE LANGUAGES SPOKEN IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD?

Spanish was spoken in my home while growing up and although we all understand Spanish, I choose to speak very little.

WHAT DO YOU ENJOY MOST ABOUT YOUR CULTURAL BACKGROUND?

Food is by far my favorite if I could combine Mexican and Soul food I would buy a food truck. Music is also one of my faves, my playlist would make anyone dance -best of both worlds :)

WHAT ACTIONS DID YOUR PARENTS TAKE TO TEACH YOU ABOUT YOUR DIFFERENT BACKGROUNDS?

I believe my parents attempted to raise us to be colorblind. It was society that made us look at ourselves differently. To this day when I’m out with my mom if I call “mom” we still cause attention. LOL

DID YOU TALK ABOUT RACE A LOT IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD WHEN YOU WERE GROWING UP?

Never, my parents never discussed race at all. It wasn’t until I went to middle school that I realized that I was different.

DO YOU IDENTIFY AS MIXED OR SOMETHING ELSE?

I identify as being mixed, BLAXICAN.

DOES RACE WEIGH INTO WHO YOU CHOOSE TO DATE?

No I’ve dated different races of men

WHAT DOES BEING MIXED MEAN TO YOU?

It’s the best of both worlds.

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DO YOU HAVE A LOT OF FRIENDS WHO ARE MIXED?

No

ARE THERE ANY COMMENTS YOU ARE REALLY TIRED OF HEARING FROM PEOPLE IN REGARDS TO RACE/CULTURE?

YES!! What are you? What are you mixed with? Is your hair real? Why do you talk white?

WHAT IS YOUR DREAM FOR THE FUTURE OF AMERICA IN REGARDS TO RACE?

Just take a moment and realize we are so much more alike than we are different.

ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT TO SHARE?

Mixed chicks do it better!

You can follow Carla on Instagram

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WHY I WANT MY NEPHEW TO BE COLORBLIND

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Over the past year as I’ve been growing and adjusting to becoming a Tia/Aunt, me and my sister have been having an increasing amount of conversation regarding my nephew’s mixed upbringing and how we want that to be different from our own. Even though he’s Mexican, Black, and Puerto Rican, his genetic make-up leans more towards his Puerto Rican heritage in regards to pigmentation and skin color. He has fairer skin, amass of dark hair starting to curl, and racially complex features. From a general standpoint he does look mixed, but for the purposes of his upbringing we want him to accept the rainbow of genetics representing all three of his cultures.

He may grow up seeing my sister, my father, and myself and try to reconcile that visual color difference that separates us. My sister who experienced this many times growing up mentioned recently how she’s happy that she visually represents our Black side more because she wants my nephew to know “this is part of you too.” I find that beautiful that she’s empowered and embraces her darker skin tone and refuses to let that detract the way he sees people or his family growing up. As I’ve become more knowledgeable and educated about the multiracial community, colorism, and how to create impactful conversation for mixed race children, I understand how vital it is he’s supported, accepted, and taught early on he doesn’t need to feel inferior because “he doesn’t look like us.”

As his first birthday approaches I look forward to gifting him with the “My Family Builders,” set that will help stimulate and support his understanding of mixed race families. I may have not grown up looking like either parent, but I never experienced the type of fear or worry my sister did because to her she only looked like one predominant race. I never had anyone question or challenge me being mixed in that sense based off of skin color alone, and I’m happy she wants to use her own experience to build my nephew’s self-esteem and understanding of his mixed self. 

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FEATURED MULTIRACIAL INDIVIDUAL: MEET CHRISTINA JONES

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Christina Jones, age 26 

WHAT MIX ARE YOU?

Black and Native American.

 My black side is from my biological father’s side. I don’t know anything about him, but I know his family resides in the south. And my Native American side comes from my mother’s side. She is full blooded Navajo Indian and our tribe is one of the largest living Native American tribes in North America. She’s from Shiprock, N.M., which is where I grew up on the Navajo reservation as a small child.

WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE?

Colorado Springs, CO

IS THE COMMUNITY YOU LIVE IN NOW DIVERSE?

Yes, there are a lot of military bases here so it’s pretty diverse.

WHERE DID YOU GROW UP?

I’m from Texas, but I grew up on the Navajo Reservation until I was about 8 years old. I was pretty much the “black sheep” in a community full of Native Americans. There were no other mixed kids I could identify with, but when I moved to Killeen, TX with my mom it was a different story. I had a major culture shock and I had a really hard time adjusting to the “city life”.

HOW DID YOUR PARENTS MEET?

They met when my mom was in the Army I guess, she never told me about my biological father and I never dared to ask.

WERE THERE ANY SIGNIFICANT OBSTACLES IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP CORRELATED TO YOUR BACKGROUNDS?

I don’t know.

HAS YOUR EXTENDED FAMILY ALWAYS BEEN SUPPORTIVE OF YOU BEING BIRACIAL?

I was told that when I was a baby my great grandmother on my mother’s side didn’t approve of me, because I wasn’t full blooded Native American, but as soon as I was placed in her arms she started crying and smiling. My extended family since then has always supported me in every way possible.

DID YOU CELEBRATE TRADITIONS FROM BOTH SIDES OF YOUR FAMILY?

As a small child on the reservation I celebrated everything that was to be celebrated traditionally. My grandfather was a medicine man so he was always hosting peyote meetings, and I had the pleasure of helping my grandparents prepare for it. Even though I probably got in the way most of the time, I still enjoyed every minute of it. I didn’t know much about my black side until I moved to Texas, but even then my step-father never really taught me anything about black culture. The only thing I knew about was the food he would cook, and the rest of my black culture I learned from my black friends at school.

WERE THERE MULTIPLE LANGUAGES SPOKEN IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD?

Yes, my grandparents and other elders in my family on my mother’s side spoke Navajo. I remember my great grandmother trying to teach me Navajo, because she didn’t speak or understand English at all, but I was too shy to repeat anything. (I wish I wouldn’t have been too shy to learn from her.) I picked up a few words and phrases as a young child, but my mom doesn’t speak Navajo so I lost the few words and phrases I knew once I spent a few years in Texas.

WHAT DO YOU ENJOY MOST ABOUT YOUR CULTURAL BACKGROUND?

What I enjoy most about my cultural background is that I get to celebrate two cultures that have similar struggles and backgrounds as far as American history goes. I love and I’m proud that I’m made up of two beautiful ethnicities that survived against all odds. On my black side, I love the food!! Soul food is everything and more! It’s comfort food, and the feeling of togetherness all wrapped in one. I also love how black culture influences people all over the world from our music, to our fashion, and the way we talk. It’s mind-blowing to see how black culture influences everyone and everything and plays a major role in today's society.

On my native side, I can’t tell you how in love I am with my culture. It was my first identity, kind of like your first love but in a different way. My grandparents and aunts and uncles taught me so much about my culture while I was growing up on the reservation. Even though I can’t speak or understand Navajo, I always feel a sense of pride and love when I hear my grandfather speaking Navajo. His voice is the most beautiful and soothing thing on earth when you sit and listen to the words he speaks. I also love our native regalia, our jewelry, and the beautiful artwork that Navajo artists create in order to keep our culture alive. I love our strength has a Nation, and our sense of pride for our ancestors who have passed on. I love that we have a strong connection with Mother Earth and a profound spiritual connection to life and all living things. Most of all, I love that I come from a background full of warriors. My great grandfather was a Navajo Code Talker during WWII, my grandfather was a soldier who fought in the Vietnam War, my mom was in the Army, and my uncle was in the Marine Corps following in their footsteps I decided to join the Marine Corps right after high school. The Navajo Nation is a nation full of military heroes, you just won’t hear about us, because we’re not your typical “American heroes”.

WHAT ACTIONS DID YOUR PARENTS TAKE TO TEACH YOU ABOUT YOUR DIFFERENT BACKGROUNDS?

My mom would tell stories every now and then about her childhood and what it was like growing up on the reservation and going to boarding school.

DID YOU TALK ABOUT RACE A LOT IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD WHEN YOU WERE GROWING UP?

Not really, I had a very different childhood than most normal children growing up. There was never really a conversation about race or anything like that.

DO YOU IDENTIFY AS MIXED OR SOMETHING ELSE?

I identify with being black and Native American, I think when you just say you’re mixed it takes away from who you really are as an individual. It gives people a chance to assume things about you, or what you’re mixed with when I can just tell you and we can get over the awkward guessing game.

DOES RACE WEIGH INTO WHO YOU CHOOSE TO DATE?

Not really, but I’ve always dated black men or black men who were mixed with something else. I’m dating a black and Native American man right now, and we’ve been together for 4 years.

WHAT DOES BEING MIXED MEAN TO YOU?

Being mixed to me means that I have the privilege of celebrating different two cultures and bringing them together.

DO YOU HAVE A LOT OF FRIENDS WHO ARE MIXED?

I have friends that come from many different backgrounds, I've learned that people who grow up in different environments have their own outlook on certain races, but when you educate them and show them that whatever stereotype they know isn’t true they tend to change their outlook. I’ve also learned to respect many different cultures and what they believe in, even though it seems like we’re all different we’re really all the same in so many ways.

ARE THERE ANY COMMENTS YOU ARE REALLY TIRED OF HEARING FROM PEOPLE IN REGARDS TO RACE/CULTURE?

Some of my biggest pet peeves are people who tell you that “you talk too proper/white”, “you’re not like other black people”, the most annoying question used to be “are you the Indian with the dot on your forehead or the one that dances around the fire?” after I got tired of this question I stopped using the word “Indian” and started using the term Native American.

WHAT IS YOUR DREAM FOR THE FUTURE OF AMERICA IN REGARDS TO RACE?

I wish that everyone would realize that we are all one, we all breath the same air, and we all want the same things out of life; to be successful, and have a happy and fulfilling life.

ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT TO SHARE?

I am a Marine Corps veteran who’s currently in school getting a bachelor’s degree in small business and entrepreneurship, I have 2 more classes left until I graduate! I also have a small candle business called Chicks Love Candles, I make candles at home and sell them online or at craft shows. I hope to have a candle shop within the next 2 years!

You can follow Christina on her personal Instagram.

You can also follow her company, Chicks Love Candles, on Instagram and Facebook.

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FEATURED MULTIRACIAL INDIVIDUAL: MEET PHILLIP CHRISTOPHER ROBERTS

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Phillip Christopher Roberts

WHAT MIX ARE YOU?
African American
Korean

WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE?

Dallas, TX

IS THE COMMUNITY YOU LIVE IN NOW DIVERSE?

Not that I know of, but I've seen majority of white people in my apartment complex.  To everyone's defense I go to work at 5 am, and come back at noon so I rarely see anyone!

WHERE DID YOU GROW UP?

I am from Killeen, TX.  It was really diverse there since it was connected to the biggest military base Ft. Hood. There were a lot of mixed kids there.

HOW DID YOUR PARENTS MEET?

My aunt actually introduced them to each other when my father was stationed in Korea.

WERE THERE ANY SIGNIFICANT OBSTACLES IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP CORRELATED TO YOUR BACKGROUNDS?

Surprisingly no since they weren't the super traditional Korean family. But most old school families think it's a dishonor to marry a person of color.

HAS YOUR EXTENDED FAMILY ALWAYS BEEN SUPPORTIVE OF YOU BEING BIRACIAL?

Another surprise here, my father's side of the family hates my mom and us and thinks that she isn't adequate to raise us. My mom’s side think we are amazing and can achieve a lot.

DID YOU CELEBRATE TRADITIONS FROM BOTH SIDES OF YOUR FAMILY?

We celebrated my 100 day old anniversary which is a traditional Korean thing, but other than that were just the normal American family.

WERE THERE MULTIPLE LANGUAGES SPOKEN IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD?

Not exactly. My mom never made me try to learn Korean but would teach me basic conversational pieces. She really pushed me learning English since she herself was learning it while I was growing up.

WHAT DO YOU ENJOY MOST ABOUT YOUR CULTURAL BACKGROUND?

What I most enjoy is the food obviously, Korean food (not American Korean) is really healthy and I eventually turned into an athlete that does constant research on diets.

WHAT ACTIONS DID YOUR PARENTS TAKE TO TEACH YOU ABOUT YOUR DIFFERENT BACKGROUNDS?

None. They were never specific, they taught me to respect everyone, my yes/no ma'am/sirs, no one is better than anyone, and be a good person.

DID YOU TALK ABOUT RACE A LOT IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD WHEN YOU WERE GROWING UP?

Never, we didn't try to make it a point since we were already living it.

DO YOU IDENTIFY AS MIXED OR SOMETHING ELSE?

I always said I was black and Korean, but as of late I just say it shouldn't matter because I try my best to spread positivity to all.

DOES RACE WEIGH INTO WHO YOU CHOOSE TO DATE?

No

WHAT DOES BEING MIXED MEAN TO YOU?

It's a very special thing. I have a lot of experiences that most people never get to see. You are honestly seen as 2 races and some things you should do or certain stereotypes. Since I'm Korean people say aren't you good at math, but I am also black so I get the “who's your favorite rapper” a lot.

DO YOU HAVE A LOT OF FRIENDS WHO ARE MIXED?

If we go down to the Census then no because most people have 2 mostly of the same parents. But like one of my friends is ¼ white so they never actually identify as white.

ARE THERE ANY COMMENTS YOU ARE REALLY TIRED OF HEARING FROM PEOPLE IN REGARDS TO RACE/CULTURE?

Not really. I would say the good at math thing gets old but no nothing really.

WHAT IS YOUR DREAM FOR THE FUTURE OF AMERICA IN REGARDS TO RACE?

I wish we could all have some sort of equality. It truly hurts my heart that I probably will have to tell my children to watch out where and how they play in the park because you never know what could happen.

ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT TO SHARE?

No, thank you for the questions but people can follow me on Instagram and Twitter or Facebook: Phillip Christopher Roberts 

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Multiracial #WCW: Devon Aoki

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So I was watching Fergie’s video MILF (#goals, btw) and noticed Devon Aoki in the video.  I didn’t even know the woman had a kid, so I went down the rabbit hole of what is the Internet and caught up on this beautiful girl’s life.

A little background, I first saw Devon Aoki on the cover of Vegas magazine on one of my first visits in the early 2000s.  She was a tiny thing with almond eyes, blonde hair, and full, heart-shaped lips that sloped downwards.  On this particular cover, I think her freckles weren’t covered up.  She was a doll.  Seriously, she looked like a porcelain doll I had when I was a child.  I was totally intrigued and wanted to know her background.  This was before “googling” was a thing (can you believe it?), so I had to actually read the article.

Devon Aoki’s father, Hiroaki Aoki, is Japanese and the founder of Benihana.  Her mother is Pamela Hilburger, a woman of German and English lineage.  Devon began modeling at 13 and was the face of Versace at 16.  She moved on from modeling to acting.  Most people probably remember her from 2 Fast 2 Furious, but the only movie I’ve seen her in is D.E.B.S.

Aoki is all grown up now.  She’s married and has three (THREE!!!) kids.  She is still just as beautiful and adorable and her three kids definitely have the pretty gene.  She is totally a MILF – Mom I’d Like to Follow… Get your head out of the gutter…

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INTERMARRIAGE ON THE RISE? LET'S LOOK AT THE STATS...

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My coworker David shared an article with me recently, Why Is Interracial Marriage On The Rise? via Priceonomics.com, and I thought it was extremely well-written and included a lot of great stats and analysis of those stats. The first thing I learned was the difference between the term Interracial Marriage and Intermarriage. This is an important distinction (at least in the world of Census data) because Hispanic is considered an ethnic group, not a race. So intermarriage data includes Hispanics, whereas prior to 1980 the data was only collected on Interracial Marriages. So all of the stats that will be discussed below are inclusive of the Hispanic population and therefore fall into the Intermarriage category.

One of the charts I found most interesting was this breakdown of each state and what percentage of couples under 35 years of age were in intermarriages. I was not at all surprised to see that Hawaii ranked number 1, both with the military presence on the islands and the super strong Hapa community that resides there. I was a little surprised by Oklahoma and Alaska at first until I did a little research which explained that these high percentages are due to the large populations of Native Americans in Oklahoma, and Alaska Natives in Alaska who are marrying individuals that do not identify as the same race.  

Overall the article stated that intermarriage rates in individual states are largely correlated to what percentage of its population is neither white or black. So, states with large populations of Hispanics or Asians lead to a higher rate of intermarriage. The article cites that Whites are particularly likely to intermarry with Asians and Hispanics which leads to the large numbers.

So in Maine, where 95% of the state is white, doesn’t have as much opportunity to “interdate” thus leading to a low percentage of intermarriages. West Virginia and Vermont are similar in that respect. Mississippi however is a little different, because their population is almost 38% black and 60% white. But that only leaves 2% for everyone else- so it makes sense why at 6.8% their number is so low. I have never personally been to Mississippi, but I would also be willing to throw out the notion that deep seeded segregation and racism also has a lot to do with it in many of the southern states- this list of Top 10 Most Racist States in America backs up my hunch.

Another interesting point the Priceonomics.com article is making is that the rise of Interracial Marriages can’t necessarily be attributed to changing beliefs or attitudes about race.

Our “no-demographic change” estimate suggests that intermarriage would have only risen to 6.7% if demographics had not changed – a 1.9% increase, dramatically smaller than the 8.6% increase actually observed.

So in other words, it is the demographic changes that have happened in our country since the 1980s that have largely increased the rate of interracial marriage or intermarriage, not because everyone is suddenly totally down with a Swirl Nation (shameless plug:).

Hispanics, Asians, and those who identify as Other are leading that demographic change. In 1980 that group accounted for 10% of the population, but today it is 29%. This also explains why there is more opportunity to intermarry today. As the article states:

Almost surely, some of the Whites who were not intermarried in 1980 would have been more likely to marry a person from different race or ethnicity had the population been more diverse. If you grow up in a town with only one non-White family, the intermarriage rate doesn’t really reflect your beliefs. That’s partially why White people were three times less likely to intermarry in 1980 than in 2014: there were half as many opportunities. Only about 17% of young married people were not White in 1980, compared to 35% today.

The percentage of intermarried Whites more than tripled from 2.7% in 1980 to 8.5% 2014. A big increase but no where near as dramatic as the numbers for the black population. In 1980, less than 4% of all married Black people under the age of 35 were not married to other black people, today the rate is 18.7%!

Interestingly enough the rate of Asians and Hispanics intermarrying has actually decreased since 1980, which you can see represented in the chart above. An article in the NY Times offered the following insight on the decline within the Asian-American community:

From 2008 to 2010, the percentage of Asian-American newlyweds who were born in the United States and who married someone of a different race dipped by nearly 10 percent, according to a recent analysis of census data conducted by the Pew Research Center. Meanwhile, Asians are increasingly marrying other Asians, a separate study shows, with matches between the American-born and foreign-born jumping to 21 percent in 2008, up from 7 percent in 1980.

Asian-Americans still have one of the highest interracial marriage rates in the country, with 28 percent of newlyweds choosing a non-Asian spouse in 2010 (About 36 percent of Asian-American women married someone of another race in 2010, compared with about 17 percent of Asian-American men), according to census data. But a surge in immigration from Asia over the last three decades has greatly increased the number of eligible bachelors and bachelorettes, giving young people many more options among Asian-Americans. It has also inspired a resurgence of interest in language and ancestral traditions among some newlyweds.

A similar story can be told for the Hispanic community, as studied by Zhenchao Qin, a professor at Ohio State University who found that education level also played a large role in intermarriage when it came to the Asian and Hispanic communities in particular. 

Studies show the number of native-born Hispanic men in intermarriages with whites declined by nearly 4 percentage points between 1990 and 2000 – from 35.3 percent to 31.9 percent.

The study found that education played a key role in defining who participated in interracial marriages. For example, native-born Hispanic women with a college education were more than three times more likely to be in a marriage with whites compared to their counterparts with less than high school education. The differences in intermarriage as a function of education were even larger for foreign-born minorities.

Qian said,

“The melting pot is clearly bubbling, but mostly along class lines, with the highly educated most likely to cross racial and ethnic lines to marry.”

It will be interesting to see how these numbers continue to evolve over time with the continued influx of immigrants from Asia and Latin America, as well as the growing multiracial population. Qian did note that a change U.S. Census forms in 2000 plays a key role. This was the first time respondents were able to choose more than 1 race on their form. This change has made it more difficult to “understand marital assimilation” according to Qian. But his study did reveal that bi-racial American Indian-white or Asian American-white individuals were more likely to be married to whites rather than American Indians or Asian Americans. It was also mentioned that historically individuals who are mixed African-American and white have traditionally identified as black for the purpose of these studies. If our blog is any indication, then I think this will be changing as more and more individuals identify as multiracial.

Does this data surprise you? I know for me it was surprising to see that if demographics had not shifted at all, then the percentage of intermarriages would still be VERY low (about 7%). I had really never put that much thought to the impact of the demographics, I guess because I have lived in fairly diverse urban areas my entire adult life (except for college- Boulder, CO is not exactly the poster child for diversity), and have always been around a lot of "intercouples". But now that I think about it, it makes sense. As much as I would like to think America has had this huge shift when it comes to race, we all clearly know that is not the case. Never has that been more clear than in recent months.

All of us who are passionate about the multiracial community will play a large role in shaping the future state of this data. While it might mean less clear-cut data for the analysts to interpret, with the wide variations of multiracial people, it should also mean a fresh perspective on demographics. As Pew Social Trends reports: 

Multiracial Americans are at the cutting edge of social and demographic change in the U.S.—young, proud, tolerant and growing at a rate three times as fast as the population as a whole.

As America becomes more racially diverse and social taboos against interracial marriage fade, a new Pew Research Center survey finds that majorities of multiracial adults are proud of their mixed-race background (60%) and feel their racial heritage has made them more open to other cultures (59%).

That point of "being open to other cultures" being key I think as we look at the future of race and marriage. Today, nearly half (46%) of all multiracial Americans are younger than 18 and as the data suggests, it is quite likely that they may grow up to marry other multiracial individuals. 

As a group, mixed-race adults are much more likely than all married adults to have a spouse or partner who is also multiracial,the survey finds. Among all mixed-race adults who are married or living with a partner, about one-in-eight (12%) say their spouse or partner is two or more races. By comparison, only 2% of adults among the general public who are married or living with a partner say the same.

So the story continues to unfold! Let us know your thoughts on these stats and studies! 

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FEATURED MULTIRACIAL FAMILY: MEET THE BUI FAMILY!

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MEET JESSIE, HUNG AND HONG-YEN!

Jessie, 26

White, Belgian European

Hung, 26

Vietnamese Laotian

Hong-Yen, 9 months

Half Belgian/Vietnamese Lao

WHERE DO YOU LIVE?

Belgium

HOW DID THE TWO OF YOU MEET?

On the internet 7 years ago

WERE THERE ANY SIGNIFICANT OBSTACLES IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP CORRELATED TO YOUR BACKGROUNDS?

No actually nothing because he grew up in Belgium as a small child

WHAT TRADITIONS DO YOU CELEBRATE IN YOUR HOME?

There are more traditions on my husband’s family side, like eating and burning money to remember the dead family members etc

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CULTURAL FEATURE/TRADITION OF YOUR SPOUSE'S RACE? Chinese new year is nice to celebrate

IS THE COMMUNITY YOU LIVE IN DIVERSE?

Not really where we live. Mostly local Belgians live here

DO YOU OR YOUR PARTNER SPEAK IN MORE THAN ONE LANGUAGE IN YOUR HOME? 

My husband speaks Vietnamese to our baby but not very often. Together we speak only Dutch.

ARE YOUR EXTENDED FAMILY SUPPORTIVE OF YOUR MULTIETHNIC RELATIONSHIP?

Yes, they have no problem with it.

WHAT DO YOU ENJOY MOST ABOUT YOUR PARTNER'S ETHNIC-CULTURAL BACKGROUND?

The food because it’s totally different than Belgian

DID YOU FIND BIG DIFFERENCES IN THE WAY YOU GREW UP VS. YOUR SPOUSE DUE TO DIFFERENCES IN RACE?

Not really but perhaps in the traditions they do at home, that is totally different.

WHAT IS THE MOST SURPRISING/UNEXPECTED THING YOU'VE LEARNED ABOUT EACH OTHER'S CULTURE?  

It is not always very easy to adjust to an other culture

ARE THERE ANY COMMENTS YOU ARE REALLY TIRED OF HEARING FROM PEOPLE IN REGARDS TO RACE/CULTURE? 

People staring at us because obviously you don’t see many couples where the man is Asian and the woman is white and especially with kids. That can annoy me because I feel like we are a family like anybody else.

WHAT ACTIONS HAVE YOU TAKEN TO TEACH YOUR CHILDREN ABOUT EACH OF YOUR BACKGROUNDS?

My daughter is only 9 months but we will teach her Vietnamese

HOW DO YOU RAISE YOUR CHILDREN TO HONOR DIVERSITY IN OTHERS?

To learn that all children are equal regardless of race

WHAT UNIQUE CHARACTERISTICS DO YOUR CHILD(REN) HAVE FROM YOU AND YOUR PARTNER?

She gets nervous rather fast like me, but is more optimistic like my husband.

HOW DO YOU PLAN ON TEACHING YOUR CHILDREN TO BE PROUD OF BEING MIXED?

That they understand they have 2 backgrounds and can appreciate it, and learn to live in balance with it.

WHAT IS YOUR DREAM FOR YOUR CHILD'S FUTURE AND THE FUTURE OF AMERICA IN REGARDS TO RACE?

(Not American) for her to be accepted because of having different backgrounds and have success in what she does

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FEATURED MULTIRACIAL INDIVIDUAL: MEET CARALIE MARIS WEGENG

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Caralie Maris Wegeng; 21 years old

WHAT MIX ARE YOU?

Asian: Filipino

White: German and Irish (as far as I know)

WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE?

Westwood Village, Los Angeles, CA / Santa Clarita, CA

IS THE COMMUNITY YOU LIVE IN NOW DIVERSE?

Currently, I’m attending UCLA; both the students and faculty are racially and ethnically diverse, however Asian and White people seem to make up the majority. Santa Clarita while having some variety is predominantly White.

WHERE DID YOU GROW UP?

I grew up and lived in a few different places. My early childhood was spent in the San Fernando Valley which was diverse, although I was around mostly Latinos (more so Mexican) and Filipinos. Since this was so early on in my life, I cannot recall being around mixed kids. I’m sure there were mixed kids; I was just probably unaware.

I also lived in a suburb in St. Louis, MO which had very little racial and ethnic diversity. There were maybe a handful of mixed kids, but our mixed identities were never part of the conversation. After 5 years in St. Louis, I moved to Austin, TX which is predominantly White and Latino (Again, mostly Mexican. Side note: The Mexican culture between LA and Austin are very different in certain ways which I found to be interesting). Because Austin is such an eccentric and free-spirited city, living there was what first sparked deeper thoughts of my racial and ethnic identity. Sometimes, I was the token Asian girl in various groups at school which was a weird experience for me since I didn’t have a strong identification with being Asian.

Although I didn’t become the best of friends with most of the mixed people I knew, I definitely felt a sense of solace and community knowing they were there (especially mixed Asian people).

HOW DID YOUR PARENTS MEET?

They were introduced through mutual friends.

WERE THERE ANY SIGNIFICANT OBSTACLES IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP CORRELATED TO YOUR BACKGROUNDS?

Both sides were accepting of the ethnic differences. Although, one of my mother’s sisters was not very fond of my father in the beginning because he was in the Navy.

HAS YOUR EXTENDED FAMILY ALWAYS BEEN SUPPORTIVE OF YOU BEING MULTIRACIAL?

Yes. It has never been a negative experience in my family life.

DID YOU CELEBRATE TRADITIONS FROM BOTH SIDES OF YOUR FAMILY?

Somewhat. There isn’t really a specific culture we engage in on my father’s side. On my mother’s side, we will have family parties with my Filipino side since we live near them. Every once in awhile, we will see extended family on my Filipino side which means greeting a lot of our elders in the traditional Filipino way by taking the person’s hand (who we are greeting) and lightly touching it to our own forehead. I can’t recall anything else specific at the moment, but family gatherings are usually a medley of both sides.

WERE THERE MULTIPLE LANGUAGES SPOKEN IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD?

English and Tagalog. Only my mother speaks Tagalog; my siblings and I unfortunately cannot.

WHAT DO YOU ENJOY MOST ABOUT YOUR CULTURAL BACKGROUND?

The food is wonderful and can win over anyone’s heart. I don’t eat much Filipino food these days since I am vegan. I have grown a special love for Filipino desserts as many of them are vegan friendly (Thank goodness for coconut and rice!).  

The Philippines also has a lot of beautiful traditional clothing having influences from Spain and some from pre-Spanish colonization (more jewelry and accessories; minimal clothing -- very tribal looking). I also love the many traditional dances of the Philippines. They’re super entertaining! Especially Tinikling which is the Filipino bamboo dance. Watch some videos online if you’re unfamiliar. It’s great!

WHAT ACTIONS DID YOUR PARENTS TAKE TO TEACH YOU ABOUT YOUR DIFFERENT BACKGROUNDS?

Nothing really. Mostly just food and talking about our ethnic mixture to bring awareness to it, but nothing specific.  

DID YOU TALK ABOUT RACE A LOT IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD WHEN YOU WERE GROWING UP?

Not very often. I think and talk about it much more often ever since I entered college.

DO YOU IDENTIFY AS MIXED OR SOMETHING ELSE?

Yes. Sometimes multiracial/multiethnic, Filipino and American, Asian and White. Depends on the situation or form I’m filling out.

DOES RACE WEIGH INTO WHO YOU CHOOSE TO DATE?

Not at all. I’ve dated people of various racial backgrounds - mixed and not mixed.

WHAT DOES BEING MIXED MEAN TO YOU?

To me being mixed means getting to enjoy and embrace multiple racial and ethnic identities that are so important to me. Although a big part of this does include the struggle of balancing these identities. Being mixed is a constant learning experience. For the entirety of my life, I feel like I will always keep learning about my mixed heritage, especially about my place in society as a mixed person and how I will keep adapting to that role as society changes.

DO YOU HAVE A LOT OF FRIENDS WHO ARE MIXED? 

Ever since I joined UCLA’s Mixed Student Union, many mixed people have become my close friends. From them I’ve learned how varied the experiences of mixed people can be. At the same time, many of us share very similar experiences regarding our mixed identities even though most of us come from different ethnic backgrounds. Most importantly, they’ve given me reassurance that I don’t have to choose a side nor do I have to let others categorize me in such a way.

ARE THERE ANY COMMENTS YOU ARE REALLY TIRED OF HEARING FROM PEOPLE IN REGARDS TO RACE/CULTURE?

You don’t look Asian.

Filipino isn’t even Asian.

I thought you were White.

I thought you were Mexican.

Filipinos are like the Mexicans or Blacks of Asia.

Is your mom a nurse?

Your dad must’ve had yellow fever.

Oh, you’re only half though so you don’t really count.

WHAT IS YOUR DREAM FOR THE FUTURE OF AMERICA IN REGARDS TO RACE?

For people to not be judged (underestimated, overestimated), discriminated against, or be afforded certain privileges because of their race.  

ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT TO SHARE?

Instagram: @vulvarine_666

Twitter: @kegatron94

Facebook: Caralie Wegeng

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VIDEO REVIEW: MTV DECODED'S 7 MYTHS ABOUT CULTURAL APPROPRIATION DEBUNKED

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I can’t remember the last time I watched anything on MTV. I don’t have cable anymore, so it’s not really even an option and I kind of forgot that the channel even existed (do they even have music videos anymore?!). Oddly enough, I came across an MTV produced video on Facebook a few days ago with an interesting title. “Are cracker, redneck, and white trash racist?” I was immediately intrigued and watched the 5-minute video. The video is part of MTV’s Decoded series, which is a weekly series on MTV News, hosted by Franchesca Ramsey. Franchesca covers topics such as, race, pop culture and “other uncomfortable things” according to the shows YouTube page.

After I watched the first video, I was left wondering what this series was about and if they had more videos. I then spent the better part of my afternoon watching them all. Oops! Although I didn’t exactly get much done that afternoon, I do think I learned a few things, so it definitely wasn’t a waste of time. Of all the videos I watched, “7 Myths About Cultural Appropriation Debunked” stood out to me the most. This is likely because this topic has been a hot button issue as of late and also because it’s a topic that has intrigued me for a long time. I’ve had many conversations with friends and family about it and have done my best to try to explain why dressing in Native American garb or as a rapper and painting your face brown for Halloween was inappropriate and disrespectful. While I’ve always stuck to my guns, I haven’t always been able to precisely articulate why doing these things is disrespectful.

After watching the MTV video though, I came away with a little better understanding of cultural appropriation and I feel that I can better explain to others. It seems as though the issue comes up at least once a week in the media and, based on the conversations the media coverage causes, there is still a lot of misunderstanding. If you’re anything like me, you like to be able to articulate yourself well and be knowledgeable about topics before you enter into conversation or debate about said topics. As far as cultural appropriation goes, this video is a really great one to use to bolster your confidence and to show others who might actually believe some or all of the myths they discuss.

Cultural appropriation is really only part of the overall conversation about race in the United States. If we can find better ways to explain and understand these pieces of the puzzle though, I think we can eventually affect true change.

I encourage anyone and everyone to watch this video as well as the others MTV has created. I’m not sure what else you can watch on MTV these days, but I’m glad that someone over there thought these videos were a good idea.  

After all, knowledge is power.

Here’s the Cultural Appropriation Video. Enjoy!

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TO KNEEL OR STAND - IS IT A QUESTION?

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If you don’t pay much attention to sports, chances are, over these past two weeks, you have been bombarded from the news, social media, and possible conversation over San Francisco 49ers football player Colin Kaepernick. Ringing any bells? Perhaps you’ve seen as many messages of support such as #VeteransforKapernick and memes with the outline of his silhouette now proudly sporting a FRO. Maybe you’ve even seen his now best-selling NFL jersey flying off the shelves. It could be the latter in which you’ve seen posts, tweets, and comments calling him everything from un-American and un-Patriotic, traitor, and my favorite “not really being Black,” (since he is biracial) regarding his current stance in choosing to sit down/take a knee during the national anthem. If you scroll through some of the tamer social media posts, this doesn’t even rock the tip of the iceberg regarding how vicious people have been in their judgement of his protest.

The act of defiance has sparked national conversation regarding the history of the anthem and what it means to be an American in the 21rst century. The question many sports fans are wondering is…  How should our athletes behave regarding political statements? Is it too far? Is the flag so sacred that Kaepernick’s act is toting a dangerous line? It’s been pointed out that Kaepernick is not the first athlete to make a stance in times of social justice with revered athletes like Muhammad Ali and Jackie Robinson immortalized for their bravery in times of adversity. Athletes using their platform to make a statement has been one that many sports fans have been calling for in light of increased brutality and victimization of minorities in the past few years.

Kaepernick states: “To me, this is bigger than football, and it would be selfish on my part to look the other way,” he said late last month. “There are bodies in the street and people getting paid leave and getting away with murder.”

Despite pointing out several times that he has no mal intent or disrespect towards military members, many fans have pointed out the flag represents universal freedoms, beliefs, and ideals that reflect who we are as Americans. His jersey is being worn in support as much as people are buying it to stomp on it, burn it, and trash it to show their distaste for his stance. Celebrities, fellow athletes, musicians and politicians have even contributed thoughts on the statement that has caused an interesting ripple of effect of actions we’re now seeing at football games. J. Cole, Trey Songz, Chris Brown, Steph Curry, Kareem Abdul Jabar and Tina Knowles are just a few who have been in support of the athlete by wearing his jersey or offering thoughtful insight into the conversation at hand.

Kaepernick’s choice in taking a knee has caused unwavering doubt and conversation regarding those inherent liberties extended to all Americans-yet is not reflected in the current way our political and socioeconomic community has been. When prompted with questions regarding Kaepernick’s choice, President Obama stated: “He’s exercising his constitutional right to make a statement. I think there is a long history of sports figures doing so.”

Coming from a firm and long standing history of military members in my family as well as residing in Fort Hood, Texas (the largest army base in the world)- I do understand the perspective that Kaepernick’s actions could be perceived as disrespectful. However; if he had completed the action without context or regard for his choice outside of social justice endeavors, I would be upset. That’s not the case. He has stated on many occasions this specific choice is not because he doesn’t respect or acknowledge the ongoing sacrifice of our military servicemen, but does want the sacrifices that are made in regards to our liberties and freedoms extended to everyone. Regardless of what your personal opinion is on the matter, we can all agree that living in the United States alone does not ensure those inalienable rights are granted to all, not in the least. If you don’t agree with me, I’d suggest looking to the left and right of you, turning on the TV, listening to the conversations we have on justice and race. Do the freedoms, liberties, and justice you hold close to you and think of regarding the flag ring true for everyone? If you have to think twice…you may want to reconsider how valid Kaepernick’s platform is right now and how to engage the true heart of that conversation.

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MISS JAPAN IS HAPA (AGAIN)!

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I think it so awesome that this year's Miss Japan is once again biracial! Priyanka Yoshikawa is 1/2 Japanese and 1/2 Indian, and she's just stunning! How beautiful and wonderful that Miss Japan is mixed! Sadly, there is a lot of hate going around on social media about Miss Japan not being Japanese enough to represent.

3% of Japan is mixed. I feel that just because you are a blend doesn't make you any less of something. In my opinion if you were born and raised within a culture that ultimately makes you that. Perhaps it is just a very Americanized view of mine. I was born and raised in the U.S. I think of myself as an American regardless of my ethnic background! Plus she is 1/2 Japanese! She speaks Japanese, she is Japanese.

"There was a time as a kid when I was confused about my identity," she said. "But I've lived in Japan so long now I feel Japanese."

It is so sad that many of the Japanese people think Priyanka Yoshikawa is not fit to be Miss Japan. People have called her a "terrorist", "Arab", and "Arab terrorist". The same disgusting backlash happened to her predecessor Ariana Miyamoto, who is half black. Even though some of the Japanese people are being closed-minded it's nice to see that the people who judge Miss Japan are not, and give this title based on ability and not "pureness". 

Times have changed friends. Pretty soon there won't be anyone that can deem themselves "pure", and that makes me happy! 

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DONALD GLOVER'S ATLANTA CHALLENGES STEREOTYPES IN MEDIA

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Atlanta chronicles the everyday life of its characters. Glover’s character, “Earn”, has a child and is not married to the mother, his cousin, “Paper Boi” is a rapper who commits an act of violence, and there are talks of drugs, however, in the world of Atlanta those are not stereotypes; it is reality. What is the line between stereotype and reality?

Stereotypes in television are often caricatures. They are over the top. When people say someone is being a stereotype, it’s usually extreme.

Atlanta is not extreme. It is a slow, easy paced show, often taking place in real time. Yes, they are showing rappers. But guess what, people in the “hood”, actually do try to rap. People actually do have guns. This is reality. What I found interesting when I was watching the show is that it showed the emotional response the characters were having to the situations around them. For example, as Paper Boi (played by Brian Tyree Henry), is becoming popular (once his song is on the radio), we see him moving through society and being treated differently. We see his interaction with the man at the wing shop who gives him extra perks. We see on his face, the way that he is affected by the things that this man is saying to him. We see his interaction with a woman who starts off angry and then changes her tune when she realizes who he is. We watch his reaction to little children playing violently as they imitate him. To me, that’s real. That’s realistic. It’s not a stereotype. And it begs the question of whether or not we should preserve the culture of our ghettos or be ashamed of it. The truth is, ghettos exist. And certain cultural aspects come out of those ghettos. If we are to be ashamed of the ghetto and get rid of all things associated with it, that would require us to get rid of some of the things we like, such as jazz, hip hop and street culture. Those are things that have been accepted into popular culture. But other things are not, such as, talking loudly, speaking with heavy colloquialisms, and aspiring to be a rapper or ball player. We look down on these things. But why? We can’t pick and choose what parts of people we like. And by doing so, we are buying into the stereotypes.

“I chose these characters because they represent every type of person. We based these characters off of our friends. I don’t think a lot of people understand how someone like Donald Glover is friends with a drug dealer and that’s what I’m trying to get at. It just happens, it’s not crazy at all.” – Donald Glover

I find it interesting when I hear people of color refer to stereotypical portrayals in TV and film. While I do agree, that sometimes people of color are reduced to stereotypes, I do think there is a difference between reducing someone to just a stereotyped caricature, and having a multi-dimensional character that fits a description of a certain type of person. These people are real. These people actually exist. And they deserve voices. Everyone is a stereotype in one-way or another. People who are against loud speaking, lip smacking girls, are a stereotype. They are a stereotype of  “uppity. Someone who speaks “white” is a stereotype. There are positives and negatives to each one. But at the end of the day, these are people who exist. Stereotypes come from somewhere. The negative connotations are really attached to the caricature of such stereotypes.

“Stereotypes come from somewhere. People just don’t know people. I just tried to show a real person. With everybody on the show, it’s like, let’s make sure they’re real people. The second they don’t feel like real people, it feels more like a sitcom to people, which we didn’t want to do. I was like, I don’t want to make it a sitcom. I don’t want it to feel like what people think about when they say, "sitcom." Let’s make sure these characters feel like people and you’re surprised and interested when they make a decision based on their experiences. So, with Earn and Paper Boi and [Paper Boi's friend] Darius, I was like, let’s make sure that their friendship feels honest and then after that they can do whatever they need to do. I feel like people forget how much they’re different from their friends, how often people’s friends are very different and have different ideas and they come together to smoke or chill, but you live completely different lives and sometimes your philosophies cross and sometimes they don’t. And that's what makes for an interesting relationship.” – Donald Glover

Atlanta airs Tuesdays | 10PM ET/PT

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SWIRL KITCHEN: BING BOX SNOW CREAM, EAST VILLAGE

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In my quest to find authentic Hawaiian Snow Cones in NYC my bestie Carol took me to Bing Box in the East Village. Sadly not Hawaiian shaved ice but dare I say just as good? Granted it has been several years since my last vacay in Hawaii.

Bing Box is a modern take on Korean shaved ice or bingsu, and I love it! I’ve been twice now. They use low-fat milk for their shaved ice.

My first time eating a Bing Box my friend Kavin and I split: Mango, Lychee, Vanilla Wafers and Condensed milk.

So refreshing and light! Perfect for a hot summers day!

Carol ordered: Tarro, Vanilla Wafers, M&M’s and Nutella.

Dewey got the Sesame Bing Box: Milk, Sesame Powder, Red Bean, Mochi, Almond Flakes, and Condensed Milk.

My second time around I made a Bing Box out of Strawberry, Mochi, Lychee, and Condensed milk. Isn’t it pretty!?

Warren ordered the Taro Bing Box: Taro, Strawberries, Caramel Popcorn, and Condensed Milk.

This is a great spot for dessert in NYC! Hope they make it through the winter and competing against Snow Days. Both spots have very similar deserts. I’ll let you guess which is my favorite!

For more info check our their website.

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FEATURED MULTIRACIAL INDIVIDUAL: MEET KHELSEY JUHRAE PENA

Enjoy getting to know Khelsey! We're super excited that she is not only featured, but is also our newest contributing blogger! Welcome to the Swirl Nation Blog Khelsey!

xx jen 

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Khelsey Juhrae PENA, age 23

WHAT MIX ARE YOU?

Italian, Dominican & African American

WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE?

New York City

IS THE COMMUNITY YOU LIVE IN NOW DIVERSE?

VERY!

WHERE DID YOU GROW UP?

I am originally from NYC and I am still currently here. I grew up in the South Bronx, a very diverse community. Full of Latinos, African Americans, Europeans & Asians. I was also raised down in Atlanta & Richmond during my summers growing up. So I’ve been around a bunch of diversity since I was a child.

HOW DID YOUR PARENTS MEET?

My parent’s met  through  another  relative  of  mine.  They were all high school friends and they just pursued their marriage after 6 years of dating.

WERE THERE ANY SIGNIFICANT OBSTACLES IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP CORRELATED TO YOUR BACKGROUNDS?

Not really.  My  biological father  was incarcerated a few months after I was born, so that put a major hold on their marriage. My mom later divorced him. She then met my sister’s father, who is Cuban.

HAS YOUR EXTENDED FAMILY ALWAYS BEEN SUPPORTIVE OF YOU BEING MULTIRACIAL?

I never really knew my extended family. I was only raised with the Italian side of my family. I was around my stepfather’s side growing up, so a bunch of Latino’s.

DID YOU CELEBRATE TRADITIONS FROM BOTH SIDES OF YOUR FAMILY?

I did not have certain traditions with my Italian side of the family. We were a normal catholic family who celebrated holidays like normal people did.

WERE THERE MULTIPLE LANGUAGES SPOKEN IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD?

English, Italian and Spanish

WHAT DO YOU ENJOY MOST ABOUT YOUR CULTURAL BACKGROUND?

I love food in general, but I did love baked ziti a lot growing up! Haha. Though jazz and soul come from the African American side of my family, I grew up enjoying it. I was big on blues!

WHAT ACTIONS DID YOUR PARENTS TAKE TO TEACH YOU ABOUT YOUR DIFFERENT BACKGROUNDS?

My grandmother raised me. She made it clear to me to understand about different ethnicities and the different cultures in our blood.

DID YOU TALK ABOUT RACE A LOT IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD WHEN YOU WERE GROWING UP?

I didn’t honestly.

DO YOU IDENTIFY AS MIXED OR SOMETHING ELSE?

I get identified as mixed most of the time or people will just assume I am Latina.

DOES RACE WEIGH INTO WHO YOU CHOOSE TO DATE? OR IF YOU HAVE A PARTNER WHAT RACE ARE THEY?

I am open to different races when it comes to dating. I’ve never been biased or judgmental based on anyone's background. My partner is Puerto Rican and Black.

WHAT DOES BEING MIXED MEAN TO YOU?

I think being mixed has its own way of expressing itself. I think to me, it’s a beautiful thing. So many cultures & blood lines running through my little body.

DO YOU HAVE A LOT OF FRIENDS WHO ARE MIXED? IF SO WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNED FROM THEM?

I have a ton of friends who are from different countries actually. I love to get into their beliefs and thoughts towards racism. One of my best friends growing up was actually Cambodian. So growing up with her, I was aware of the standards, beliefs, culture & religion they had set for their children. I’m into learning more about a person and how they grew up living. I think you learn more about yourself, when you learn more about others.

ARE THERE ANY COMMENTS YOU ARE REALLY TIRED OF HEARING FROM PEOPLE IN REGARDS TO RACE/CULTURE?

I really get bugged when someone makes a statement about my hair texture being “less” nappier or if it’s actually my hair. Not everyone has a coarse texture to their hair, which totally annoys me. Not every mixed woman wears a weave, which is totally rude and obnoxious.

Also, I’ll have people ask me “what’s my ethnicity”, and I’ll get into detail… They are totally like at lost for words. “You don’t even look Italian. Your complexion yes, but maybe if you had a slimmer nose or colored eyes..” Just total NONSENSE!

WHAT IS YOUR DREAM FOR THE FUTURE OF AMERICA IN REGARDS TO RACE?

I honestly just hope that Americans can learn to accept one another, not for their skin color or assets. That’s our biggest default in this country. So much hatred is being shown. Gentrification is a big part of racism as well. People can look at my father, who owns a house upstate, and automatically assume “he’s no good for this town.” I just wish people learned to stop casting judgments on those who don’t always deserve it. Get to know others before you belittle them. “Love one another, as I have loved you”.

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