BEYOND THE MONTH OF FEBRUARY

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February is gone--Black History Month is over. But as the mother in a swirl family, I'm hardwired to discuss black history with our kids whenever the opportunity arises. They need to hear stories not shared in the media and have cultural experiences that expand their perspectives. I studied tap dance for many years and was so excited to take the kids to a live stage performance starring Savion Glover. I'll admit I was a little bummed when our 14 year-old son rated the show a pitiful "2" on a scale of 1-10. "Mom," he lamented, "He tapped for TWO HOURS." Seizing the teachable moment, I inquired,  "Why would he do that? Why is tap important?"  Research on their modern devices led to the understanding that the creation of tap was a direct response to the fearful acts of slaveowners who attempted to remove all methods of communication from their captives. In other words, Tap equals Genius. The rating moved up to a "4". Mission accomplished.

Three weeks ago, our 12 year-old daughter and I went to Washington D.C. with a wonderful black family from her school. Visits to the African Art Museum, African American Civil Rights Museum and the MLK Memorial were priority. Perusing in a gift shop, Mangala picked up a bookmark that featured every U.S. President. Finger scrolling the rows of faces she said, "I can't believe all of these presidents were white." She stopped on President Obama's image and said with a smile, "...and then a Star." Her innocent observation brought tears to my eyes. She clearly saw the shining glory of a black man.  She has stated she likes white boys "just a little" more than black boys because "they remind me of my Dad" but she definitely likes both. More importantly, her preferences are not tainted by anyone's negative portrayal of her mother's people, but rather by her healthy relationship with the man that helps her with her math homework every night and cooks her gluten-free pancakes on demand. I'm fine with that.

Black History Month 2016 was the best I've ever experienced. It forced me to delve more deeply into the race dynamics currently happening in our country. We have a coffee table book "Los Angeles". The historical images of happy, wealthy, white people swimming, surfing, making movies, enjoying fine dining and building prosperity decades before Black Americans were allowed to vote provide a stunning contrast. Photo after photo it is apparent how HAPPY they were. There was no struggle on their faces, no stress in their brows. 

Anyone who doesn't believe we need Black History Month is uneducated and narrow-minded.  They diminish the Black Experience in America by trying to blend it into American History. Fact is, if African slaves had not been brought to America, the world as we know it today would not exist. We would not be as evolved as a human race. The Africans and the Europeans in the United States is a complex fusion of cultures and we continue to force each other to reach our highest potential. The blending of the cultures is not the problem. The excessive greed, the cruelty, the sexual perversion caused by the mental illness of slave masters poisoned the blend. It didn't have to be that way but it was. It is our unique legacy. And despite all of our problems, I wouldn't want to live anywhere else. The racists will die off. Tolerance will become the norm. Sooner than later. Our children already understand what is really important and as long as we give them the tools to be happy and tell them the truth, Mr. Lamar is correct--We gon' be alright. 

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NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THEM BY PHOTOGRAPHER ROBERT KALMAN

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As a Creative Director by profession I spend a good part of my days roaming Pinterest and the internet for inspiration, and one day I came across these beautiful portraits of interracial couples but New York photographer Robert Kalman. I loved the rawness of the photos. Kalman took the photos on the streets of New York City, Provincetown and during travels to Europe. 

Kalman's book No Difference Between Them was published in 2009, so it is not new but it was the first time I had come across them.  

I love that the couples seem to be in whatever pose they felt most comfortable versus being posed by the photographer. The images make me want to go deeper and learn their stories. Which photo is your favorite?  

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SUPPORTING MULTIRACIAL HERITAGE WEEK 2016

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Our friends at Project RACE approached us about supporting Multiracial Heritage Week 2016 and of course we were super excited to take part! Multiracial Heritage Week is important because multiracial people are the fastest growing racial group in the United States and it is important that each of us are counted! 

Each of you can help by signing up on the Project RACE website to volunteer for your state! 

Multiracial Heritage Week 2016 will be June 7-14! Mark your calendar now and become a representative for your state! 

Sign up now by filling out the sign-up sheet here.

The 2016 flyers can be downloaded here. Please print them and give them to your friends, schools, and family members! 

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This will be our third annual Multiracial Heritage Week and we already have participation by over one-quarter of all the states! You must be a resident of the state, so we need everyone’s participation to get proclamations for their state. We will start the campaign in March, 2016. It’s easy!

“Multiracial Heritage Week—how could something so unifying not be celebrated?” –Dionna

“I think Multiracial Heritage Week is amazing because it gives multiracial people a chance to celebrate all parts of who we are.” –Lexi

“There are times set aside for other groups of people to  celebrate their heritage. We’re the fastest growing racial group in the country. Don’t you think it’s time to celebrate us?” –Karson

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For additional information visit the Project RACE website

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THEY TOLD A BUNCH OF KIDS STACEY DASH WAS CANCELLING BLACK HISTORY MONTH...

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Love these kids, please give them more air time than Stacey Dash! 

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ONE FEMALE CREATIVE DIRECTOR'S TAKE ON THE #WOMENNOTOBJECTS CAMPAIGN

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I went to college in Boulder, Colorado. I thought I wanted to be a psychologist- until I took Psych 101 my first semester! I hated it, so for the next 3 semesters I took a random assortment of required courses and a lot of Women’s Studies courses. Eventually my dad called me up to ask how exactly I was planning to make money as a feminist. I didn’t have a good answer for that one, but luckily he had a suggestion that would change the course of my life. He suggested I should use my creativity and take some advertising and media classes. So I did it and I fell in love!

Turns out it was pretty easy to combine my feminist views into my work studying and analyzing ads.  Way too easy in fact because there are so many ads with a distinctly male point of view. I wrote a paper in my first advertising class about this very subject and my professor ended up asking to have it bound so she could use it as an example for other classes. The details of the paper are a little blurry almost 2 decades later, but I do remember one particular ad which featured a woman in tight jeans (I don’t remember the brand) and possibly no shirt spread out over a dinner table with her legs open and of course a seductive look on her face. The headline read:

“It’s ok if he looks at the menu as long as he eats at home.”

She was literally laying there like a piece of meat. Couldn’t have been more literal unless some man was standing over her with a knife and fork. It was awful, and my 19 year old self knew it was unacceptable. I didn’t know at that time that 97% of all creative directors in advertising were men. I also had no way of knowing that one day I would be part of the 3% fighting in my own way to create work I was proud of.

This leads me to coming across this video in my Twitter feed today:

It instantly brought me back to my days in Boulder. It also made me sad that in almost 20 years not much has changed. 97% of Creative Directors in advertising are still men. I don't know what the percentage was in 1998 when I had this first epiphany, it could have been 99%, but either way not a lot of progress has been made.

Women make 80% of all household purchases which means our buying power is clear. But inside the ad agencies of the world you are not being represented by your peers, you are being represented by white men. I mention white men specifically because while there is a serious lack of women in advertising in creative leadership positions, there is an even bigger lack of racial diversity in both genders. 2% of creative leadership is black, and that figure combines men and women. I couldn’t even find figures for other races or for multiracial individuals. 

All of this boils down to the fact that the way society is reflected on your TV screens, in your magazines, and on your computers is created overwhelmingly by white men who have never lived your experience. This pisses me off on so many levels. The problem goes beyond the over sexualization or objectification of women, it also extends into how women of different races are portrayed.  

I have been in advertising for 15 years now. I worked my way up from Junior Art Director when I was 21 and I am now the Executive Creative Director at a great agency in Los Angeles. I love what I do, but there have been moments when I didn’t. The first moment that comes to mind is when I was still a Junior Art Director and was handed a CoverGirl project. The singer Brandy was one of their CoverGirls at the time and one of my clients requested that I lighten her skin in the main image we were proposing to use for displays in a national chain. At first I thought it was my client’s attempt at an awful joke, but then I realized he was serious. I refused to do it. I brought it all the way up my chain of male superiors. I’m sure they thought I was over-reacting, but I wasn’t and thankfully I won that battle. 

Soon after I would spend 7 years working on beer brands. When you think of marketing and beer you think of boobs right?! Yup, it was an experience. There were of course the projects with models "Frankensteined" beyond recognition. But there were also more subtle examples. I remember working on the Blue Moon brand. Blue Moon is famous for their painted point of sale which gave them a unique look in the marketplace. A female artist created all of the original Blue Moon paintings, but in the commercials it would always be a male hand creating the masterpieces. Did they think men wouldn't buy the beer if a woman was involved in the creation of the graphics? Seems strange doesn't it? It makes me sad. 

There were also moments when the diversity was so lacking at my agency that I was put in charge of multicultural accounts. Me. Blonde haired, blue eyed, me. My qualifications were “Jen dates black guys, put her on the account.” So they did. Crazy right?! True story.

Bottom line is, advertising is a tough industry. Mad Men isn't too far off from the current day agency atmosphere. Long hours, demanding clients, boys club like atmosphere means most female creatives take their talents elsewhere once they start having a family. I get it. I’m a single mom and a Creative Director and it is hard. It is exhausting. But I also think it is important to have a feminist voices in this industry.

Seeing this video was a good reminder for me to keep top of mind every day in my profession. I now work in Experiential Marketing, so my job is less about casting calls and photoshoots and more about creating physical experiences, but there are still ways I can empower, educate, and lead my clients.

I also think it is very important for every woman and parent to really pay attention to how women are portrayed in the media. According to the @Not_Objects Twitter page 62% of women believe that any brand has the potential to empower women through advertising. My question is why isn't that number 100%? We as women need to start fighting for each other. In that same vain, we need to fight for ALL women. Women of all races, sizes, and backgrounds. 

There are groups I rely on to inspire me and keep me up to date on what is happening, those resources include Miss Representation and AJ+. I also follow the 3% Conference, which is an advertising industry event started by Kat Gordon. The aim of the conference is to close the gap and slowly but surely they are making progress.

I would encourage everyone, as consumers, to educate yourselves and be really present when you consume media. We are so bombarded all day long I think a lot of people have gone a bit numb, but if you really pay attention I think what you see will anger you. The filters below are something the group at #WomenNotObjects have shared to enable everyone to assess ads for themselves. 

Personally, as the mother of a tween daughter I am doing everything I can to promote healthy body image and I think these filters could be a good conversation starter. I also take these questions and more into my work everyday and applaud the women behind the #WomenNotObjects campaign in bringing awareness to this issue. 

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BREAKING THROUGH A SEA OF SAMENESS

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People often ask me why it is that I primarily date men of different races than myself. I’ve thought about the answer many times. My usual response is that I am more attracted to people who have traveled different paths in life then myself. I enjoy the contrast, both in life experience and in skin tone.

I have been like this for as long as I remember. Searching for people who could teach me something. As a young girl in preppy Connecticut I definitely fit in. My blonde bob, Esprit bag, plaid skirt, Benetton shirt and penny loafers fit the mold. It was an ideal upbringing, the type of life you would see in sitcom. But I was uniquely curious about what else was out there. As I got older this desire became more prominent. I had a desire to travel, meet new people, and experience the energy of cities instead of my safe suburb.

I have a bit of gypsy in me. As a child we lived in multiple states, our most significant move came when I was 14 and about to start high school. We left sheltered Connecticut and moved to California. The two environments were vastly different, but I really embraced the change. This excitement for change and has followed me into my adult life. I love adventure and I’ve never been scared of leaving a comfortable place. In fact I feel most creative when I am in uncomfortable positions. It sparks something inside of me and pushes me. Now that I am older I can look back and see that there were many times when I purposely put myself in challenging positions in search of that push.

I think I can say the same about the interracial relationships I have been in. All of my long-term relationships in my 20s and 30s have been with black or mixed black men. These relationships have challenged me, as all partnerships do. But I think interracial relationships have a set of unique challenges. I’ve never dated anyone who I met and thought, “wow our lives are so similar”, “our parents would be best friends”, “your family reminds me so much of my own” – none of that, quite the opposite in fact.

There are uncomfortable moments being a mixed couple. Whether it is disapproving comments and looks or moments where you wonder if you are just too different to make something work.

I also think for me there is something deeper that is behind my desire for difference. And I think some people might feel uncomfortable with this statement, but I feel like I am contributing to making the world a better place by choosing to partner with men of a different race than myself. I know that might sound kind of strange. It sounds a little strange to me even. But I think growing up in a sea of sameness has pushed me to create a world for myself that is the opposite of that. Not in a bad way, because I loved my friends and the childhood I had. But it sparked a deep passion inside of me for creating a community for myself that was diverse- a Swirl Nation.

This of course goes beyond men and into female friendships as well. I have a great group of women in my life who are very diverse ethnically and personality-wise. I learn so much from everyone I am connected with and I can say there are times it is not completely comfortable. But I remember my ex-boyfriend Mike would tell me that as soon as a relationship gets “too comfortable” it is doomed and I have to say I agree with him 100%.

Many might disagree with my perspective. I have witnessed many people who find it much safer to stay in one place, partner with people very similar to themselves, and surround themselves with friends who look and talk like they do. My hope is that someday they recognize the sea of sameness they are living in and feel the urge to step out into uncharted territory. I recently read a stat that 75% of white Americans ONLY have other white people in their social networks, similarly 65% percent of black and 46% of Hispanic Americans also have homogeneous social networks.

This is a big problem. It shouldn’t surprise us that we are so divided as a nation when the majority of people do not have any close relationships with people of another race. Clearly this is a big opportunity for people to embrace difference and diversity.

Those of us with mixed families are certainly leading the way and are in the position to share our stories on blogs like Swirl Nation and on other platforms and hopefully inspire. I will continue to live life looking for new paths to travel and finding amazing people along the way to accompany me on my colorful journey. 

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All artwork is by the talented artist Brian Kirhagis. I discovered him on Instagram and fell in love with the sexiness of his work. Follow him HERE.

TEARS FOR DETROIT

I cried today. Sobbed actually. I saw a video on Detroit schools. Mushrooms growing up the wall, mold, rodents, playgrounds and gyms deteriorated beyond use, no arts, no supplies. A shot of the bathroom is what sent me over the edge. It's criminal. Between the water in Flint and the schools in Detroit, that whole region needs to be under federal control. And people need to go to jail. Money should come from the weapons industry ($400 billion annual; six of top nine companies located in the US). Sorry, I rant...it won't be the last time.

I try to be optimistic about how things are going in this world and stick to solutions, but Detroit/Flint is ridiculously complex. These schools need immediate repair. Flint is being poisoned. I mean...I'm kinda speechless. What happen to the humanity of the people who knew? How did they look themselves in the mirror every night? They had to have known this day would come. Greed? Racism? Stupidity? What kind of mind allows someone to know a city is being poisoned and just do nothing? How did someone like that get elected Governor? 

His fate will be decided. Focus must now be on solutions. The human race will always strive for better and we are working hard to manage this unfathomable experience called Life. Flint and Detroit need a little extra attention right now. Praying our leaders do what is right, fair, kind and just.

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All photos from @TeachDetroit  Twitter account

THE STRUGGLE OF BEING MIXED RACE

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This video is also on our Tumblr page

DR. KING'S LEGACY 50 YEARS LATER

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The celebration of Dr. King on the brink of Black History Month gives us a chance to authentically reflect how we are progressing as a country on the issue of equality. We are drowning in media coverage about the injustices perpetrated on the current minority communities. The Black Lives Matters movement captures headlines nearly every week. The aftermath of U.S. slavery continues to debilitate our efforts to merge the gifts and talents of all cultures and improve our quality of life. In the United States, we already have enough for everyone to live a decent existence. But far too many prefer to be petty, angry, fearful, mean, scared, paranoid or evil. They are willing to lie, steal and kill to defend the disturbed concept of superiority. It boggles my mind that with all of the information available, people still choose to hate. A Canadian friend once told me they consider racism a form of mental illness. From everything I've seen, heard and lived, I must say I agree. But what I know is, there are more good people than bad. If it weren't so, our world would be in chaos. And Flint would be on fire.

Problem is, our expectations for black/white race relations are far too high. On both sides. Black people were given the right to vote in this country a mere 50 years ago. 50 years.That ain't shit. How can anyone possibly believe things should already be equal? It's illogical. We've got 400 years of slavery's bad karma on us. It's going to take at least half that amount of time to straighten things out. That gives us until 2165. Now I'm not at all advocating the efforts should slow down. But thinking in these terms allows us to put into perspective the spectacular amount of growth that has happened  in a ridiculously short amount of time. As a country, we are doing great. Nowhere near perfect, but certainly poised to get it right if we work hard enough. Amidst all of the ignorant rhetoric, I've heard truths spoken that can expand our ability to tackle our racial issues effectively and permanently.

I stumbled upon this interview with Brian Lehrer on Huff Post Live speaking on white privilege. Whether or not you agree with Brian Lehrer's views, his intention to find solutions cannot be denied. The beneficiaries of privilege are acknowledging the inequity in greater numbers. As Americans continue to come together on this issue, we will expedite the rate at which our country heals its wounds. I think Dr. King would be proud of where we are and the work that is being done . And perhaps he would agree that while it is fine to be optimistic, we must remain realistic on how much further we have to go. Now is the time to work harder and smarter. Everything is at stake.

Click on photo for full interview

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REMEMBERING THE WORDS OF DR. KING

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Martin Luther King's words resonate as strongly today as they did 50 years ago. Here are some of my favorite quotes to honor the man who made such an impact on society. My wish is that his day is seen as more than just "a day off of school". I encourage every parent to set aside some time today or tomorrow to teach their children the story of Dr. King's crusade against racial injustice. 

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All quotes can be found HERE

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I love this kid-friendly video by Kid President that explains the story of Martin Luther King Jr. Please share this video with kids in your life and teach them about the important work Dr. King did. 

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Mentoring Moments: “He thinks he’s black…”

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Photo via JustinBeiberZone.com

I work with young people.  Many young people do not know the value of choosing words carefully.  They do not understand connotation and inferencing.  I am so afraid of my students leaving their little comfortable bubble and getting punched in the face because of something they say, so exercises in ignorance are met with mentoring moments.

The other day, one of my dear students exclaimed they cannot stand Justin Bieber because he thinks he’s black. OK, so… Bieber is kind of an annoying and I am embarrassed to admit I’ve really liked all of his last three singles (I can’t believe I just put that in writing, but whatever).

Mentoring moment…

I reply with, “I’m sure he knows he is not black.”

Student says, “You know what I mean.  He tries to act all gangster and he tries to be all ghetto.”

My reply, “So that is being black, being a gangster and being ghetto – I’m Black, am I a gangster or ghetto?”

Student reply: “No.”

I then explained to the student the importance of crafting their outbursts so they aren’t offensive and more appropriate words could be they don’t like the choices he makes and he is a poser.

Some people might think that we live in a too politically-correct world and we shouldn’t have to worry about sensitivities so much, but saying someone thinks they are black because they act ghetto and try to be gangster insinuates Black people are ghetto gangsters; which perpetuates stereotypes about black people and it can be dangerous.

Now, Rachel Dolezal, she does think she’s black, but that is another story…  

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